Making Puck: Not That ESPN Would Ever Tell You Anything About It

Poor Barry

Poor Barry Melrose. He’s like ESPN’s version of Milton Waddams from Office Space - they probably put his dressing room in the new generator building. Anyway, unbeknownst to tWWL, there were real live NHL games played last night. And as my comrade Hextall454 put it in one of our frequent correspondences with one another (the e-mails between MYFO‘s contributors will one day be as revered by the intellectual community as the letters between Mark Twain and Henry H. Rogers):

“Maybe Tony Romo will marry Joe Torre, and they’ll never talk about hockey again. Jesus.”

Jesus indeed. Well, on to last night’s results.

Olie Kolzig is kind of like an NHL goalie version of Glenn Danzig. Actually, their last names merely sound similar. Kolzig makes 30 saves for the Capitals, leading Washington to the victory over the New York Islanders 2-1. Brooks Laich and Victor Kozlov had a goal apiece for the Caps while Richard Park had the Islanders’ lone goal.

David Puddy still believes “you gotta support the team”.  The Senators got up quickly 2-0 in the first period and never looked back, beating the Devils 4-2 in Ottawa and improving to a perfect 4-0 on the season. Ottawa held New Jersey to only one power play opportunity in the game.

Chris Chelios is old. The NHL’s oldest player chipped in a goal for the Red Wings as well as played in his 1,550th game in Detroit’s 4-2 victory over the Edmonton Oilers. 1,550? That’s about the same amount of goals that I have scored with Chelios on NHL ’95. Interesting.

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9 Comments

  1. When was the last time anyone tuned into ESPN for hard hitting hockey analysis?

    I have nothing funny to say about Ottawa, its just that type of day.

  2. VR, I’m thinking the answer to your question is “never”.

    And as for Ottawa, make fun of their sock stripes, that don’t go all the way around.

  3. Fear not, oh common folk, ours will be a benevolent dictatorship, filled with enlightenment and wonder. And pudding.

  4. Did somebody say pudding?

  5. $240 worth of pudding…

    @VulcanizedRubber and @Pam/Shorty: You gotta feel for Barry, though. Although no one tunes in to watch, he does provide quality hockey analysis.

  6. Weed Against Speed, he also provides me with hearing “against” pronounced “a-GAYN-st”, which is always funny.

  7. I always suspected Tony Romo was a bottom.

  8. @Pam/Shorty- thanks that helped me get through the day.

    @WAS- If you mean by “quality” picking the front-runners all the time and then flipping for a hotter team, then yes, I feel sorry for him. Bucci is the only one in my book worth tuning into over there. They do support the return of the Whale, so there’s that.

  9. @VulcanizedRubber: and he is different from every other analyst for every other sport how? I’m not trying to imply that Melrose has one of the greatest hockey minds ever or everything he says should be taken as gospel – all I’m saying is he’s entertaining, knows the game pretty well and probably deserves a little better than being treated as a second-class citizen at a shitty network.


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