Gary Bettman: Great Commissioner? Or GREATEST COMMISSIONER EVER?

The NHL owners are conducting one of their periodic performance reviews of NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. Some observers speculate that, despite earning exceptional marks during his entire 15-year run, Bettman could be in for a rough ride this time around. Or not.

Craig Leipold: All right, everyone, take your seats please. It’s time to get this special meeting of the National Hockey League Robber Barons Owners Association started. Today’s sole agenda item: a resolution thanking Commissioner Gary Bettman for his years of dedicated service to the league.

Charles Wang: Does this mean we’re firing him?

Leipold: What? No. Why?

Wang: It’s just that sometimes you thank people for their service at the same time security is hauling them out the door. That’s what I did with Ted Nolan. It adds that personal touch, you know?

Leipold: Well, let the debate begin! The chair recognizes…himself!

NHL Mascots: Exposed! (Volume IV)

Mascot Bukkake!

Welcome to the fourth installment of MYFO’s NHL Mascots: Exposed! series. Today’s edition features only two mascots but what occurred between these once close friends but now bitter rivals deserved its own post as it fractured the tightly-knit NHL Mascot community so terribly, the extent of the damage may never fully be realized. Perhaps we can all learn something from this tragic tale.