Battered in Labatt Blue

 

batteredfish.jpg

I know we haven’t spoken in a long time. Actually, a little more than three years.

Continue reading

Advertisements

The Search for More Contributors: Penguins

It turns out that, contrary to popular belief, there are in fact, more than 10 hockey fans. Thanks to an early announcement, we have been flooded by requests to join the MYFO ranks to represent their team. This all makes for great theatre and quality posts that involve little or no work, so Raskolnikov can stop punishing himself now, but I think he kind of likes it. All this week we here at MYFO will be bringing to you the best applications we have received, so let us know what you think: do these guys suck, should we keep them around for good, do you want to see more before making a decision, or do you think you can do better? If you want to give this thing a whirl, email me at LButler36@Gmail.com.

Today: Dan Hopper – Pittsburgh Penguins

Why My Team is Better Than Yours: Pittsburgh Penguins

Continue reading

The Search for More Contributors: Rangers

It turns out that, contrary to popular belief, there are in fact, more than 10 hockey fans. Thanks to an early announcement, we have been flooded by requests to join the MYFO ranks to represent their team. This all makes for great theatre and quality posts that involve little or no work, so Raskolnikov can stop punishing himself now, but I think he kind of likes it. All this week we here at MYFO will be bringing to you the best applications we have received, so let us know what you think: do these guys suck, should we keep them around for good, do you want to see more before making a decision, or do you think you can do better? If you want to give this thing a whirl, email me at LButler36@Gmail.com.

Today: J Money – New York Rangers

Why My Team is Better Than Yours: New York Rangers

Continue reading

Don't Worry Manny; Finland Has Your Back

finland-wp-a.jpgManny Legace can breathe easier as he gets ready for the Blues’ training camp in a few weeks. He has not one, but two Finnish backups waiting to, um, finish a game for him should need arise. Having already signed Juuso* Riksman as a free agent out of the mother country, the Blues recently acquired Hannu Toivanen from the Bruins.

For a variety of reasons, neither of these guys is likely to be confused with Fred Brathwaite. Riksman, 30, has never played a professional game in North America, much less the NHL. Toivanen was so awful last season (3-9-1, .875 SV) that the Bruins gave him away for Karl Soderberg, a Swedish prospect who refused to play in the AHL last season, and is now recovering from a serious eye injury.

Continue reading

Don’t Worry Manny; Finland Has Your Back

finland-wp-a.jpgManny Legace can breathe easier as he gets ready for the Blues’ training camp in a few weeks. He has not one, but two Finnish backups waiting to, um, finish a game for him should need arise. Having already signed Juuso* Riksman as a free agent out of the mother country, the Blues recently acquired Hannu Toivanen from the Bruins.

For a variety of reasons, neither of these guys is likely to be confused with Fred Brathwaite. Riksman, 30, has never played a professional game in North America, much less the NHL. Toivanen was so awful last season (3-9-1, .875 SV) that the Bruins gave him away for Karl Soderberg, a Swedish prospect who refused to play in the AHL last season, and is now recovering from a serious eye injury.

Continue reading

Crime and Punishment: Part IV

Due to consuming an entire bottle of wine, Raskolnikov’s loose fingers “accidentally” sent an email to Deadspin czar Will Leitch, informing the great leader of Melt Your Face-Off’s existence. However, this action was done without the knowledge or approval of any of the other writers. We were unprepared for the resulting traffic and were caught with our pants down.

The cause of this embarrassing situation, Raskolnikov, is a crazy rogue who must be taught a lesson. Therefore, we have sent him on a series of hockey “vacations” that will teach him to respect the authority of the one in charge. These trips, while not Siberia, will test his physical and mental resilience. Will he make it through his spiritual journey to rehabilitation?

Final trip: the asylum.

Continue reading

Marc Staal Blames the One-Armed Man

Marc where did you go?As interesting as news of (Insert underachieving role player here) signing a 1 year deal with (Team that missed the free agency boat here) is, it’s good to see that a few NHL players have taken it upon their own to give us something to write about. As it was widely reported yesterday afternoon, Eric Staal’s bachelor party ended in handcuffs over the weekend, as 14 went down in the biggest disorderly conduct sting Lutsen, Minnesota has ever seen. While there’s little doubt that whichever AP writer rushed to the presses with the story got the facts straight, there are a few curious omissions in the story that he’s seemed to overlooked. First off, no one is considering EA Sports’ involvement in the proceedings. Staal is your cover boy for NHL 2008, which may explain why he’s in trouble. The Madden Curse is such a cultural certainty since ESPN thought they cracked the case last fall, but has anyone considered the NHL EA Curse?

Continue reading