That’s a Crosby Sweater(!) or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let Sidney Crosby Have My Love Child

Poke Me. I dare you.So you’re a Penguins fan. You open the paper and read that your team’s superstar has resigned a long-term deal, and not only that, he went below what he could have gotten, in an effort to help the team out in their time of financial woes and salary cap hell.

So what happens when the team takes that cap room and wastes it, like, well….like the Penguins?

Crosby, born 8/7/87, wearing number 87, signed for $8.7 million a year. How quaint. The problem here is that Crosby, who is now the youngest player ever to be made captain of his team, restructured his deal to make almost 2 million less than he could have, with the sole intent that the cap space would go to re-sign his teammates coming up as Unrestricted Free Agents soon, and to bring in the missing piece or two to the team’s hopeful Cup Run. But, who have the Pens signed since Crosby signed his contract?

Last week they re-signed Colby AndersonArmstrong, who is another young whippersnapper that Pens fans feel is a vital cog in the machine. Today they announced they’ve re-signed their coach, who for a while was thought to be more part of the problem than the solution.

Can the Pens sign that top tier free agent to complete the puzzle? Will they use the cap room wisely? Or will they continue to be the Pittsburgh Fucking Penguins and find new and inventive ways to screw things up?

Until we find out the answer to that, Crosby has become the love of the town. When was the last time you saw a team superstar voluntarily take less than what he was worth for the good of the team (Say Tom Brady and I will smack the Simmons out of your mouth)?

“I think it was important just to do what was right for everyone,” Crosby said. “We have a unique situation with our team with so many great young players. I think we all want to be there and hopefully it’s a step in the right direction.”

That sounds so sweet until you realize that he’s basically saying “I did this for you, now you better sign some talent to play around me, Fuck-os.” It’s sweet in a veiled threat sort of way….and nothing says true love like ultimatums.



  1. Why Crosby wants to be the Mayor of Loserville is beyond me. Ask Mike Sweeney how that worked out with the Royals.

  2. loserville? what i seem to remember pittsburgh having won quite a few championships… anyway, who the hell is colby anderson? is he better then colby armstrong? anyway, that extra money is so they can resign malkin/staal/fleury not waste 6 or 7 mill on a guy like timonen

  3. So DH Mike Sweeney–who in 1999 posted the lowest fielding percentage by a first baseman in 20 YEARS–is the baseball equivalent of Sidney Crosby?!

    Nice to see you don’t confine your ignorance to one sport…

  4. Like jp said, the money saved was meant to be used to re-sign Malkin, Staal, etc. The $2 million saved now will be the equivalent of around $4 mil in 3-6 yrs due to the increase in the cap. Also, I don’t think the Pens have screwed things up lately. And you should also know that “Anderson” was up for arbitration and was due a paycheck no matter what happened with Crosby’s new contract. The same can be said for Therrien.

    Research my friend, not ignorance.

  5. Crosby is a smart kid. He knows he can’t continually carry the team. Having Malkin and Staal with him just gives him more weapons for the Cup. Mario without Francis and Trottier would not have won the Cup 2 years in a row.

  6. I have tried both my mouse and my finger, and that penguin responded to neither poke.

  7. Not comparing talent levels, just making a point about being the big fish in a very small pond. How about A-Rod and the Rangers? You like that one better?

    Here’s betting Crosby demands a trade to a contender within 5 years.

  8. uh..the pens are a contender. and as long as the NHL has a salary cap, they will be one. situations like arod are one of the reasons why sid took less money. the rangers spent way too much on arod, but they also wasted over 50 mill on a guy like chan ho park.

  9. How about you quit trying to compare baseball and hockey?

    Or try it once more–maybe the third time’s the charm…

  10. That money saved is more meant for next year and the year after. This season I don’t think Pittsburgh will go big in terms of free agents. Maybe they will throw some cash out there for Brent Sopel or Andy Sutton to give the defense some veteran depth but that is it. As for resigning Therrien, he did wonders with the kids in Wilkes Barre and brought the Pens back to the playoffs. I think that he is far from the problems with that franchise …

  11. I think this post is missing the FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT! tag.

  12. Well, it’s nice to see that there are some informed comments here, even if the posts leave a little to be desired…

    Kudos to jp, Fixer, Scott, and pto for recognizing Crosby’s deal as a long-term investment strategy. With their young crop of players, it’s obvious that the Pens are not inclined toward the let’s-see-if-we-can-buy-a-championship approach for their club.

  13. Crosby took less than the max, but he’s still getting paid over a million more than guys like Iginla and Joe Thornton who re-upped with their own teams only a few weeks ago. So it’s not like he left the Penguins a *ton* of extra room to go after other players.

  14. Breeze, I like you. Even if you are hopelessly in the tank for the Slow, Flightless Birds from the Land of Steel. Hope you keep coming back. I have a post coming in a few days I think you’ll really enjoy. I will compare Gordie Howe to Albert Belle.

  15. this blog blows, what a fucking retard

  16. one way to not get press passes: write this blog.

    this is why they have blogs though. any non-journalism trained nimrod can get one and make stupid uninformed comments with wrong players and stupid remarks.

  17. Oh good. And then tell me how Wayne Gretsky’s like Chuck Knoblauch…

  18. Very good blog, very rich nice pictures and articles, congratulations !!!

  19. randy johnson is exactly like kjell samuelsson!

  20. wow.


    jealous, much?

  21. @JP

    No way. He’s totally Ulf…

  22. this post sucks more than the flyers!

  23. ulf is roger clemens!

  24. But Ed Belfour is Sydney Ponson, right?
    This game is fun.

  25. Okay then… who is Lenny Dykstra?

  26. Truth is, the Happy Feets will be a crazy-good team and a huge threat to the rest of us Defending Eastern Conference Champions (oh…wait. There’s just me. Sorry!) for quite a while.

    Provided, that is, the front office doesn’t manage to fuck it up. Which I believe, if you read this post again reeeeal slow (I’m looking at you This Blog Blos), was the point trying to be made.

    Then again, it is nine in the morning and I could just be drunk.

  27. Please elaborate in this theory that the Pens’ front office is somehow going to fuck something up. Love to know where you get your info.

  28. “Okay then… who is Lenny Dykstra?”

    Theo Fleury.

  29. Breeze: I didn’t mean “will”, only “could”. Mario won’t own the team forever (even money on him walking away with a $350M cheque in his pocket three minutes after they cut the ribbon on the new arena), and as much as Shero is lauded as the genius, finishing last four years in a row and turning that into Fleury, the Kid, Malkin and Staal didn’t require a whole lot of brains.

    Add that to the fact that MAF can’t be considered a money goalie (yet) and the Pens are one or two salary cap crippling UFA signings (Mr. Gonchar. Paging Mr.
    Gonchar. Please pick up the white courtesy phone) from being back to 22-46-14.

  30. True or false:

    In the 1980s, Bryan Trottier and Don Mattingly shared the same mustache.

  31. Couldn’t have. Where would Mike Bossy have lived from April to October?

  32. I don’t think Shero’s a genius–but as you pointed out, he doesn’t need to be. He has, however, been smart enough to find a good coach, stick with him, and not try to override his coaching (paging Mr. Lamoriello). He also signed all of the players he need to this offseason (hello, Darcy Reiger).

    Despite Gonchar’s bloated contract , and Fleury’s uneven netminding (nice use of the “yet,” by the way), I think it’s a bit too soon to extrapolate a Pens collapse.

  33. I believe the call is coming from inside the house.

  34. What was that Hex? Sorry, couldn’t hear you over Evgeny’s coquettish, Neve Campbellesque screaming.

    Mmmmm….Neve Campbell….

  35. Tom Glavine would have beeen the Tom Glavine of hockey had he stayed with it.

  36. The call is coming from inside your pants… get out of your pants! I repeat – get out of your pants!

  37. Since when do the Pens have money problems?
    This post is a joke

  38. @thepensblog:

    It’s often stated that the threat of selling the team arises from the current ownership looking for better return on their investment. It’s true that the salary cap era has helped a team that was at a financial struggle as a small-market, and that things are somewhat better now. But the stories always persist around the Pens, especially when Lemieux decides he’s had enough.

  39. Hextall…

    I understand you point, but I think the Penguins are going to be fine finacially for a while.
    And when you say Lemieux’s decided he’s had a enough? What does that even mean…

    Oh well I guess not every team can overspend like the Flyers…

  40. This is exactly why I will always hate Harold Baldwin because this myth that the Penguin are always in money trouble keeps perpetuating. The fact is that the Penguins have paid off their debt and owe money to no one. With the limited lease at Mellon Arena now and the with the new arena coming the Penguins will be spending right up to the cap.

    That’s why this post blows

  41. All I meant was that at some point Mario Lemiuex may look to retire. He can be credited with saving the Pens from financial problems aroud the turn of the century. It will be up to him to select people to keep them solvent once he decides a golf course is more fun than a board room.

    As for the Flyers, they’re under the salary cap like anybody else.

  42. I have been known to go on a Theo Fleury violence streak.

  43. Next time, I’d like a clearer pic of the penguin.



  44. Lemieux is not the sole owner of the Penguins (e.g., Ron Burkle’s part of the ownership group as well).

    If/when Mario wants out, all he has to do is sell his interest to the other owners, or find someone else willing to buy in. It need not be some cataclysmic event.

  45. Pens did the smart thing here. He’s locked up for 6 years now, and no worries for the time being getting Vanek’d by the Oilers or Maple Leafs. Kid is already top 5 in the NHL, and will be the best as the supporting cast gets better.

  46. Lemieux is not the sole owner of the club; why would his departure be cataclysmic?

  47. Hextall…

    The flyers are a joke

  48. To be entirely honest, I’m not even clear on which piece of the puzzle the Pens are missing right now.

    They’ve got three of the best forwards who can’t legally drink in the NHL, who are also three top players, period. They’ve got some veteran presence. They’ve got Roberts, Recchi, Malone and Sykora, who can all (at least in theory) be scoring wingers. They have a few of very good defencemen in Whitney, Sydor and Gonchar (who *is* overpaid). They also have Kris Letang coming up. Maybe they need a checking D. Maybe they need a goaltender. Maybe JFJ can send them Andrew Raycroft and Hall Gill. :P

    In all honesty, this cap room seems better served locking up Staal and Malkin.

  49. the flyers are a joke

    most likely an unbiased observation

  50. Penguins 8
    Flyers 0

    Remember it

  51. Penguins 8
    Flyers 6


    (You were talking about letters in their team names, right?)

  52. Oh wow.

    Flyers fans can even count now.. awesome

    Go Pens

  53. I agree with metschick. We definitely need a better picture of that adorable penguin. Or I need to find that on a t-shirt.

  54. i know some flyers fans and i assure you, sir, that i am no flyers fan

  55. hahah then we’re good

  56. All my life I lived near Pittsburgh, but often traveled to Philly to visit family. I always liked Philly, I thought it was a neat city. Then I went to college and met some Philly people, totally changed everything. I didn’t think it was possible to hate a city, but it is, and I do.

  57. Looks like I have my work cut out for me…

  58. Your latest post is a joke! How can you rip on that contract? He signed for less to let Shero re-sign Malkin, Staal, etc. And yet you say they’ll be “the Pittsburgh Fucking Penguins” and screw things up by not signing any big UFAs this summer? If they sign big money UFAs this summer, how in the hell are they gonna fit Malkin, Staal, etc. under the cap in future years? You should get more of a clue before starting a blog like this.

  59. I also don’t understand how Crosby’s quote is an “ultimatum” to the team. That makes no sense whatsoever.

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