1-800 PRED-ATR

 

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Hi, er, what’s the cheapest service you offer? … The Thirty-Four Point Three special? I don’t know, that sounds expensive … That’s the best you can do? OK, here’s my credit card number. 3335 4000 1998 6969.


What do I want? To threaten you … Yeah, that’s right … I can hang up this phone anytime I want … Stop talking in that silly twang and listen to me.

Soon, you may not have anyone to ignore any longer. Yeah, that’s right, the best pro franchise you’ve had over the past couple of years will take off and leave. Oh, little Boots is having a growth spurt … Where’s that vaseline?

Bitch, shut up! Fuck collegiate sports! I’ll do the talking here! What if I call that phone company up north? They’ll love me without reservations. Hell, I don’t want to move there and 12000 phone operators want to listen to me! Ooh yeah, I’m harder than a Sherwood …

Don’t snore! There’s also that Automated Clearing House in Missouri with the brand new call center. People used to call that place all the time until it moved to a cesspool. I still want to move there, honey. Don’t think I won’t do it! Guhhh, I love my voice …

Wait, what? The credit card was rejected? No, don’t hang up! DON’T HANG UP! I’M NOT FINISHED!

*CLICK*

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2 Comments

  1. That NHL salary cap website is fucking awesome. They need that for every league

  2. Well the good news for the fine folks of K.C. is the apparent availability of tix for Disney’s High School Musical: The Ice Tour. It’s just like hockey, but with singing.


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