Hello Tampa. I Want to Play a Game…

Help! Someone please help me! Oh shit. I'm probably dead.

Right when I woke up this morning, I knew the day was going to be stranger than normal. But, hard-worker that I am, I got up, dressed, went to Krispy Kreme, sat down at my desk……and promptly began to cry. Why?

Because the Lightning have been sold.

The Lightning, who have been on the block for some time now, got bought today by a group led by former Panthers coach and Blue Jackets’ GM Doug MacLean. Joining him in this venture is a local real estate developer and a man by the name of Oren Koules. Who is Oren Koules you may ask? He’s one of the producers of the Saw Series.

You can begin the Jigsaw Jokes now. I’ll wait for you after the jump.

Done? Good.

So now, does the group plan on moving the team to, say, Kansas City? Probably not. With the team, they also bought leasing rights to the Lightning’s arena, which is a pretty nifty little cash cow, as there’s an event going on in the place almost every weekend, and it’s on the short list to host the Final Four in a couple years. But what does this mean for the team?

Well, primarily it means a shitpot full of money, and a main owner who actually knows how to run a team, personnel-wise . MacLean ran very successful teams in Miami and Columbus, and his expertise coming to Tampa can only help the cause. But with three guys who (Presumably. Details are still coming out. Maybe there’s a minority partner who has experience.) have no idea how to run a sports franchise, who is going to handle the money that’s going out?

I’m assuming more will be explained at the press conference, which is starting in about two hours. However, I’m secretly holding out for Saw-related promotions when the next movie comes out. All they have to do is sign the Ducks’ goalie, and we’ve got our very own Jigsaw in the net.



  1. MacLean ran a successful team in Columbus?

    What world have I been living in the last 8 years?

  2. I will say this- the Saw movies are made for next to nothing and gross a tremendous amount of green. Perhaps Oren can bring his “skillz” to making TB relevant other than trade talks about the Big 3.

  3. I had a shitpot full of money once. Then everything went into the toilet.

  4. […] onto the vanguard of the venture, backed by Oren Koules. Now I wasn’t aware of this, but Oren Koules is apparently the guy behind the Saw series. To reiterate, the guy who runs the Saw series also now owns an NHL team, along with a former […]

  5. The “Saw” guy is also a former minor league hockey player who played in the Blackhawks system and he used to own a minor league hockey team. So he does have hockey experience.

  6. I don’t know if I should be scared or excited. Yeah, Davidson wasn’t a hockey guy and was invisible, but the team won The Cup. Maybe with this move, the Lightning will stop hanging onto the coattails of the 2004 season and actually make the second round. Unlike a football team I know that is also in Tampa.

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