A Post for Superfan99 and Rob Feature

That’ll bleed, head.  That’ll bleed.

The day has finally arrived: NHL 08 is in stores everywhere.

Now I don’t need to praise the virtues of EA Sports’ latest edition of the greatest sports video game franchise ever; Weed covered that a few weeks ago. (Seriously, re-read it, take a second to order from Amazon, and then continue reading this. I’ll wait…)

Face it, if Madden were a superior game, video football would be more prominently featured in movies than The Break Up. While Mr. Turducken’s game paid for primo product placement in a mediocre romantic comedy, hockey needed no such means of payola. Real sports video games have indie cred.

On your NHLiday, I give you a closer look at the two greatest video hockey scenes in movie history.

Movie: Mallrats (1995)1050893343_rsebrodie1.jpg
Actors: Jason Lee, Shannon Doherty
Teams Involved: Hartford, Vancouver
Memorable Quote: “Breakfast, shmreakfast. Look at the score, for Christ’s sake. It’s only the second period and I’m up 12 to 2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, “the Whale,” they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.”
What You May Have Missed…

  • The Canucks goalie that got completely shelled by Brodie’s Hartford team? That would be Kirk McLean. Sure, it’s conceivable that the Sega computer would think to bench McLean after a struggling first period, but Vancouver’s backup that year was named Kay Whitmore. Might as well put Manon Rheaume in net.
  • Mallrats is set in my home state of New Jersey. Was Kevin Smith’s screenplay a comedic look at the happenings of a local center of commerce, or an understated swipe at how mind numbingly boring the New Jersey Devils have been since the dawn of time? No wonder Brodie picked his favorite team to be from New England.
  • Watch carefully right before The Whale scores to go up 13-2. The Hartford center gets LAID OUT. Our guess? Kevin Dineen.
  • Now that you mention it, shmreakfast sounds pretty good right about now.

Movie: Swingers (1996)
Actors: Vince Vaughn, Patrick Van Horn, Jon Favreau
Teams Involved: Chicago, Los Angeles
Memorable Quotes: “When I’m not here, will you practice?”
What You May Have Missed…

  • Cutting together a movie on an indie budget tends to show in the details. We join the Blackhawks and Kings with 6 minutes left in the 3rd, with Chicago holding a 9-5 lead. After Trent scores to make it a 5 goal deficit, (and the instant replay), we cut back to see that Chicago now only as an 8-5 lead. Wayne Gretzky is a big cheater.
  • Speaking of that goal, Roenick cuts to the front of the net and performs the EA-sureshot single deke to score, and just prior, Trent proclaims that JR is operating off a steal by Chelios. However, when the goal is announced, it’s Steve Larmer with the assist. No wonder he left to join the Rangers; he got no respect in Chitown.
  • Speaking of Larmer, he’s the one that makes Gretzky’s head bleed. You can see the #28 skating out of frame triumphantly. God, that should be on a Trivial Pursuit card.

Happy NHLiday, everybody.

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5 Comments

  1. I had a roommate from LA my freshman year of college who labeled me Superfan#99. I had no idea what he was talking about, so I had to watch the movie. That’s right – NHL 94 made me watch Swingers.

  2. “Might as well put Manon Rheaume in net.”

    That was cold-blooded. Asshole.

  3. What? I kid, I kid.

  4. Kevin Smith is a Devils fan

  5. Kevin Dineen was on the Flyers during that time period in between his stints with the Whale.

    Coulda been Andrew Cassels though. Maybe Andrei Nikolishin or the immortal Darren Turcotte.


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