Since you are reading this, I feel like its a safe assumption that you (1) follow hockey (and hockey news) and (2) are up-to-date on basic blogger news, or, alternatively, (3) love dick jokes. Either way, it follows that you have already heard about the latest cutting-edge idea to be unleashed by the New York Islanders this season – the NYI Blog Box. If not – here is your homework assignment.
Now, as MYFO’s Present Executive of Nutty Islanders Stories (PENIS for short), I feel it is my responsibility to secure entrance into the Blog Box.
After the jump, find out how you can help MYFO’s PENIS enter the Islanders’ Box.
According to the Official Website of the New York Islanders, access to the NYI Blog Box will only be granted upon completion of an application which asks for the following information:
(if you have an existing one and want to be part of the NYI BLOG BOX)
Your Islanders Blog Concept and/or why you’d like to be considered:
Please submit a writing sample of no more than 500 words on anything Islanders-related:
Ok, so let’s walk through this…
First Name: Sir Hotbod (easy)
Last Name: Handsomeface (can’t wait to see that on a pass)
Hometown: New York, NY (simple enough)
Age: 27 (getting personal, but nothing huge – and I AM legal – yes!)
E-Mail Address: SirHofH@gmail.com (it’s over there on the seldomly-updated right side of the page – ladies, feel free to send photographic applications to become part of SirHofH’s Ice Girls)
Phone Number: (Hey now! This is necessary why?) let’s just go with 555-5555 for now…
Islanders Blog: Melt Your Face Off (still nothing controversial or difficult – although this is technically *not* an Islanders blog… but then again, judging by our body of work, it is arguable that this is *not* a hockey blog either, so we move on…)
The final 2 questions are where creativity is key, and subsequently, I would like everyone to help me out with some suggestions…
First: Your Islanders Blog Concept and/or Why You Would Like to be Considered?
I’m leaning towards something that proclaims Deadspin the king of all blogs and thus, MYFO being its direct offspring, is prince – meaning that we are spoiled brats who have not earned anything, but still walk around with a sense of entitlement in the blogging community. Also I would have to mention our concept of working dick jokes or storming NHL Headquarters into every post. Finally, I would make it clear that, even though I am a huge Islanders fan and would utilize the great opportunity to report on the game in part, my main purpose would be to experience, and subsequently tear apart, the NYI Blog Box itself (both literally and, um, literally). Anything else I should add?
Second Please submit a writing sample of no more than 500 words on anything Islanders-related:
Now, this question is interesting for the sole reason that it does not say by whom the writing sample must be written. I am considering sending in a clip from Newsday back in ’80 when they won the Cup or taking Bill Simmons’ latest Red Sox fellatiarticle and changing all references of the Sox to the Islanders, Theo to Garth Snow and Jacoby Ellsbury to Rick DiPietro (they do have the same eyebrow waxist). Plaigarism aside, I did make a couple of great Islanders-related comments on Deadspin – do you think they would consider those? I suppose I could just go with my “Why My Team Is Better Than Yours“- which might be my only writing for this site that had just as much praise as scorn for the Isles. Any other suggestions?
That’s it – by answering those 2 questions correctly, MYFO could go behind-the-scenes yet again. So any help would be much appreciated.
Actual Hockey News – The preseason opened Monday night and the Islanders dropped game 1 to the Thrashers by a score of 4 to 3 in overtime. Garnet Exelby had the game winner. The game marked the debut of the new, ugly reebok jerseys for both teams. Also noteworthy was Josef Vasicek’s return to the first line of a team for the first time since his pee-wee travel days and the fact that I could only recognize the names of 5 Islanders on the roster.