Hardcore Pens Mom Proudly Tells Crosby He Might Win a Cup In ’09

Crosby TicketsCrosby TicketsEarlier this month, the Penguins honored their season ticket holders by personally hand-delivering ticket packages to a number of random subscribers. Sidney Crosby lucked out and visited the home of one Alice Kilgore, who was so floored by the experience of meeting her hockey hero, she couldn’t help but make a gushing prediction about her beloved Pens:

“I don’t think you’ll win the [Stanley] Cup this year,” she said. “Not yet. Maybe next year.”Crosby, slighty surprised, said, “Well, we’ll try this year.”

Think that’s sobering? Check out the full transcript of the conversation between Mr. Crosby and this middle-aged, black-and-gold bleeding superfan:

Alice Kilgore: Wow, I can’t believe I’m getting my tickets delivered by THE Sidney Crosby, one of the top ten forwards in the league!

Sidney Crosby: Believe it.

Alice: I mean, in terms of offensive creativity, you’re probably top three, and when it comes to two-way responsibility, physical play, and pure goal scoring, you’re not severely lacking in any of those areas!

Sidney: Um, thanks, what can I say?

Alice: Are you looking forward to playing alongside Gary Roberts this year? That guy should bring some real grit and leadership to the twenty or twenty-five games he’s healthy for.

Sidney: Hm?

Alice: And I’m really excited to have Petr Sykora and Daryl Sydor, the exact two players whose absence cost you guys that series against Ottawa last year.

Sidney: I-

Alice: Wow are these tickets are fantastic! November 7th against Philly? They are totally going down probably!

Sidney: Y-

Alice: I don’t even care that most of my money for these is going towards Ryan Whitney and Sergei Gonchar, two separate left-handed offensive defensemen each signed to expensive multiyear contracts on a team with tremendous holes on defense because I just love the Penguins SO MUCH!

Sidney: So, yeah, I gotta run and go do this hockey thing I have scheduled now, but enjoy the tickets. Can’t wait to see you at the games.

Alice: I’ll be the one with the “Fleury Shows Flashes of Competence But I’m Not Sold On Him Until He Proves He Can Play Consistently” sign.

Sidney: That all fits on one sign, huh?

Alice: It takes up the western half of the Arena roof.

Sidney: Ha, well great, it’s been a lot of fun talking to you, the Penguins really appreciate it.

Alice: Shut up.

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4 Comments

  1. hahahaha- well done

  2. Hilarious. From the original article: “…Crosby was wearing his Penguins sweater over jeans.” So either Crosby wore his sweater over his legs, or he had a pair of jeans on as a shirt. Either way, he’s from Nova Scotia and that means he’s probably had sex with a girl named Crystal.

  3. “Either way, he’s from Nova Scotia and that means he’s probably had sex with a girl named Crystal.”

    I believe you meant, “he’s probably had sex with a man named Dean in the back of an ’84 Camaro.”

  4. Whoa. I’m from Nova Scotia and I thought I was the only one. Thanks for making me feel less alone, Right Winger.


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