If Brent Burns Took Off His Shirt At The Xcel Energy Center All The Ice Would Melt

Brent Burns Is Too Sexy For His Shirt, Too Sexy For His Shirt

Who says the NHL isn’t sexy enough? Our readers out there of the fairer sex (and some of the guys…not that there’s anything wrong with that) would probably beg to differ. The gentlemen in the almost too-hot-for-MYFO photo you see above is Brent Burns,  a 22 year-old defenseman for the Minnesota Wild.

Now before all you ladies start mailing your panties to Brent and begging to have his children, I regret to inform you that he currently has a girlfriend. I recommend you do not let that deter you. “Love ’em and leave ’em” is Brent’s philosophy. One woman alone cannot satiate the virility and passion that surges through his veins for very long.  Brent Burns doesn’t need Viagra – he needs variety. Just remember once he slips one in your five-hole, the only thing he wants from you is to bring him some Easy Mac, an ice cold bottle of Molson XXX (it reminds him of Barrie, where he grew up) and for you to be on your merry way. That’s the way it has to be and if you can roll with that, come get a taste. Just plan on walking gingerly for a few days.

Moving on, for the uninitiated, Brent Burns is an up-and-comer in the Wild organization. After splitting time between defense and winger last season, he finally appears to be settled into his role as one of the Wild’s top blue-liners. Under Derek Boogaard’s tutelage, he is quickly becoming a fan favorite, most notably for his brawls with Chris Kunitz and Corey Perry during last season’s playoff series against the Ducks.

     

For those of you who would like to know more about this exciting (and handsome) budding star of the NHL, Brent was interviewed by Michael Russo of the Minneapolis Star Tribune for a feature story that originally appeared in the fish-wrap factory’s September 15th edition (note: be sure to check out Russo’s Rants on the Star Tribune’s web site for even more Wild-related content).

Man, you cannot walk away from reading that article without thinking that this Brent Burns is one seriously cool hombre. In fact, I’m considering trying out his look myself. I figure all I need to do is train hard and get in shape, add a few more tats, comb my hair with a caramel apple and use a pair of pliers to get rid of this pesky front tooth. See you guys in the emergency room!

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7 Comments

  1. Saying you won a fight against Corey Perry is like saying you won a fight with your 95 year old grandmother. Grandma probably hits harder.

  2. So the Gay Mafia is doing hockey now?

    • I know nothing of this Gay Mafia. Please, do tell.

  3. and to think, i like that fug bastard zach parise…when there’s hotness like this out there?

  4. hell ya. after eric staal. brent burns is that hottest player in the nhl…..

  5. Burns is so F ing hot. I will be at the Thursday game with his jersey painted on!

  6. EWWWW, omfg did u just say eric staal was hot? he has a fucking eggg head


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