This explains so much.

Yeah, I know. It’s baseball playoff time. Aside from rooting for the Rockies out of sheer desire to see Philly fans cry (Sorry Hextall. You too, Clare.), I really have no interest until the World Series. But, hey, more hockey tonight, guys! The league plays almost every night! It’s a sport you can bet on and everything!

So I hit the four-letter’s website to find out which games I get on Versus tonight, and what do I see? Follow me after the jump and find out why ESPN ignores hockey so much, and a preview of some of tonight’s games as well.

Damn it, ESPN!

It certainly helps, when you’re the Worldwide Sports Leader, to actually realize what sport you’re covering, assholes!

Anyway, despite ESPN fucking themselves up, here’s a preview of what to expect from tonight’s games.

7:30 PM – Devils at Lightning

The Lightning try desperately to get back on track after goaltending sabotaged last season. The Devils, meanwhile, are just trying to find a coach that won’t get fired by Valentine’s Day. Bruce Sutter is this year’s contestant. Over/Under on his firing is Christmas Day. Place your bets.

Prediction: Lighting 2-0. St. Louis, which is more than just a breeding ground for emo haircuts and black t-shirts, scores twice to open the season.

8:00 PM – Avalanche at Predators

How will Preds fans react to the debacle of an offseason that they’ve had? The Avalanche won’t exactly be pushovers when they come into town.

Prediction: `Lanche 2-1 (OT). There is a lively crowd of 12 on hand. That includes ushers, by the way.

8:30 PM – Blackhawks at Wild

RASKOLNIKOV! WEED AGAINST SPEED! TONIGHT! ONLY ON KSTC-TV!

Sorry. I was channeling Bill Simmons there for a second.

Prediction: Weed 2-1 (Shootout). Bill Wirtz’s death, while joyful, won’t cheer up the team enough to pull out an opening night win.

Have a good night, everyone. We’ll be back in the morning with recaps.

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6 Comments

  1. More to the point, how will all 13 Preds fans react when they see Matsui breaking down the left wing boards?

  2. I’m pretty sure ESPN knew what they were doing and this wasn’t a typo. They were saying the number of runs scored was an “avalanche.”

  3. Sorry, I must have misplaced the sarcasm tag.

  4. In other news, the Stanley Cup was awarded to the Rangers last night

  5. @Cousins: Kige, is that you??

  6. My bad – I completely missed the sarcasm. In which case…well done.


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