Boogaard Will Take On Each And Every One Of You Motherfu**ers

Boogeyman

It has been a relatively slow day here at MYFO. It appears every writer must be recovering from the weekend and exorcising any demons (real or imagined) their respective debauchery summoned. Myself, I am not at liberty to say until I find out whether or not charges will be filed regarding “the incident in question”.

Speaking of demons, the Wild had some of their own to deal with last night in their first meeting with the Ducks since they were physically manhandled and overpowered by Anaheim in the first round of last season’s playoffs. In that series Brad May committed what I would call a cheap shot (but I’m a Wild fan) on Kim Johnsson, knocking him unconscious as well as knocking him out of the playoff series.

The Wild were victorious last night, blanking the Ducks 2-0, but I think we all knew what was going – check that – had to happen the first time these teams met up this season.

You can tell May really wanted no part of this brawl – if you watch closely you can almost see the moment Boogaard tells May his ass is grass and he realizes he’s screwed – but you have to give May credit for dropping the gloves and taking it like a man. So hats off to you, Mr. May. I hope all those kidney punches at the end of the fight there didn’t result in any blood in your urine. Well, actually I do but I’m kind of a sick fucker. It doesn’t end there, dear readers: according to Michael Russo at the Minneapolis Star Tribune, George Parros wanted a piece of Boogaard as well in the first period, but the Boogeyman refused.

I sincerely hope no one out there truly believes Derek was running scared from George Parros. He simply wanted to take care of Brad May for the cheap shot on Johnsson first.  So, in the second period, Parros got his wish:

This was a much more evenly-matched contest. It seemed Boogaard had the upper hand at first but Parros came back and handled himself quite well. I am choosing to blame this on Boogaard’s fatigue from already fighting earlier in the game, but I’m a homer – what did you expect? I will have to reluctantly call this one a draw.

If that wasn’t enough to satisfy our bloodlust, Wild defenseman Nick Schultz and Ducks center Ryan Getzlaf mixed it up as well:

RachelElisha CuthbertInsofar as fights go, this one was pretty sad. No offense to either guy but you can tell these two don’t fight very often. There was way too much clutching and slapping in this melee. Now if we could replace Schultz with Elisha Cuthbert and Getzlaf with Rachel Hunter and put them in some Jello, what we would have is some sort of erotic catfight over Sean Avery – now that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Mee-ow!

In conclusion, three fights in one game, including two involving the Talented Mr. Boogaard. All this when the Wild players have their mothers on the road with them (site note: more on this later this week).  All in all, it was a good night for the Minnesota Wild and not such a great night for the Anaheim Ducks – I suppose the Ducks will just have to cry themselves to sleep dreaming of their Stanley Cup championship. Yeah, that must suck.

Advertisements

4 Comments

  1. On the last clip: “Memories in the NHL are like elephants.”

    They’re big and gray? You find them at zoos? If you give them a magic feather, they can fly?

  2. Charges may have been filed…but I didn’t get this name by pleading out at arraignment.

  3. I WANT BOOGAARD!

  4. boogaard belongs in a zoo


Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s