Caps Fans Want Glen Hanlon on the Hot Seat, And Pronto

Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?Tarik El-Bashir, the Washington Post beat writer for the Washington Capitals (El-Bashir also has an informative blog), fielded questions from fans in an online discussion last week. Judging from the tenor of the questions, “It’s still early” is NOT a favorite mantra among the Washington faithful. If these fans had their way, coach Glen Hanlon would be swinging from the Washington Monument. One of the more moderate examples:

Arlington, VA: If the Caps do not make the playoffs, does Ted Leonsis finally make a move and bring in a new general manager and coach?

Hey, nothing like a little early-November hockey hyperventilation! Never mind that Chris Clark is out recuperating from a grisly injury, or that Alexander Semin and Tom Poti have also been out. There are only 70 games left! Fire the coach! You can read El-Bashir’s answers for yourself; after the jump MYFO has the transcript of how their favorite owner would have responded to these questions.

Eldersburg, Md.: Ted, this is not the Redskins, but at some point there has to start being some pressure for change. All I hear is we played a great game, we’re looking up, three key players are injured… At what point does someone inside the org say, “something has got to change”?

Uncle Ted: By “someone” I guess you mean me. And by “something,” you mean “Get that imbecile Hanlon out of here!” Really, though, I have conversed with Glen many times. He is not an imbecile. He’s not going to any MENSA meetings, but he’s not an imbecile. Probably.

Herndon, Va.: Hi Ted — we’ve tightened up our defensive play but it’s so painfully obvious that our PP is in desperate need of an overhaul. It’s received attention and against a horrible Toronto team, we received some dividends but we seem to look for a perfect shot on the PP vs. crashing the net. Is Hanlon going to continue revising special teams?

Uncle Ted: He’d better! That is painfully obvious! Why didn’t Hanlon think of that?

Oak Hill, Va.: I know it gets asked a lot… but when will we see Backstrom at center? He already looks like he can hold his own out there. To me, a line with Ovie/Backstrom/Kozlov is an upgrade over last night’s line (no offense Gordo, but you belong on the 3rd). Does Hanlon have Backstrom playing at all with Ovie in practice?

Uncle Ted: Hey, maybe Glen Hanlon is an idiot. Get Gordo off that top line! Betty Sue, get Backstrom in here! He’s getting a promotion!

Washington, D.C.: Why doesn’t Hanlon see that Nylander and Ovechkin MUST play on the same line for the Caps to have any decent offense? Nylander has shown himself to be one of the best puck control artists in the NHL, if not the best. The combination of Nylander and Ovechkin would be murderous on opponents, no matter who the right wing was. We can’t get any worse than shut out! If Ovie gets set up nicely 15 times a game at least one or two will go in.

Uncle Ted: Scratch that, Betty Sue! Get Nylander in here! Hanlon, you moron! Why are these anonymous fans smarter than you?!

Shaw, DC: Ted, what are you thoughts on Ovechkin versus other NHL stars when it comes to making the other players on the ice better? I know Zubrus/Clark had great success with OV, but it seems like the team is lacking the bang bang passing plays, and relies (especially on the PP) on an OV shot or rush to the net to in order to score.

Uncle Ted: Now there’s the real problem right there: Ovechkin isn’t pulling his weight! Trade his ass!

SW DC: Hi Ted – With the Caps being in desperate need for a wing for one of the top two lines, is there a reason why they have not given Chris Bourque a chance? Obviously he is small in stature, but with his offensive abilities he might be a good complimentary player on the wing opposite either Ovechkin or Semin. Thanks.

Uncle Ted: That is one hell of an idea. In fact, I want the entire Hershey Bears roster on a plane and on its way here within the hour! And bring that coach of theirs with them! We’re going to play some old-time hockey this weekend!

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