Making Puck: Book’em, Danno.

hawaiifiveoscreenshot.jpgGotta love it when the MP theme writes itself.

Penguins 5, Devils 0– Visiting the Prudential Center for the first time proved to be no problem for the Penguins.  Simple upgrades, like extra ATM’s in the penalty box, a drive-thru window just outside the player’s entrance, and all the free lollipops Brooks Orpik can eat made it feel like home as Pittsburgh prevailed.  Hockey Jesus had two goals in the game on an subpar game from Martin Brodeur.

Danno Watch: Penguins goalie Dany Sabourin made good use of his spot start with a 20 save shutout.

Hurricanes 5, Capitals 0– Cory Stillman scores a hat trick!  Fantasy waiver wires everywhere are abuzz with Stillman’s potential as a savvy acquisition.  Of course, once you sign him, he’ll go on a patented 9 game, 1 assist streak that he’s been doing ever since his days in St.Louis and Tampa.  Olie the Goalie gets pulled in favor of Brent Johnson.  That’s never a good sign.  Also, Donald Brashear drew a game misconduct for boarding Dennis Seidenberg – who were teammates two years ago in Philly.  Dennis, that’s why you don’t steal Donald’s extra pillow on road trips.

Stars 5, Ducks 0 – According to the transcript, “The Ducks were booed off the ice by the sellout crowd of 17,174 after getting outshot 12-4 in the second period.”  Is it wise to boo ducks?  I mean, there’s definitely some ill-tempered avian species out there – never boo a swan or an ostrich, for example – but will ducks take kindly to negative criticism?  Considering they only had 4 more shots in the 3rd, I guess the booing had little effect on a team that surrendered 3 points to Habs’ cast-off Mike Ribiero.

Rangers 2, Flyers 0– Apparently the New York Rangers didn’t get the message.  All shutouts were supposed to be 5-0 on Monday night, yet the Rangers scored twice and phoned it in.  The Flyers continue to start games incredibly slow, yielding 22 1st period shots to the Blueshirts, including one off the stick of Jaromir Jagr that found the back of the net.  Henrik Lundqvist records the shutout.  Sweden rejoices.

Danno Watch: Daniel Briere recorded 4 shots and 6 penalty minutes, including an unsportsmanlike minor.  Rangers’ defenseman Daniel Girardi picked up his first assist of the year on the Jagr goal.

Canadiens 2, Sabres 0– Cristobal Huet had 29 saves, and goals from Smolinski and Plekanec propelled Montreal to an impressive home win against the struggling Sabres.  Looking over the stat sheet, I have no envy of whoever has to do play-by-play at the Bell Centre.  Look at these names: Kostopolous!  Kostitsyn!  Chipchura!  Latendresse!  Plekanec!  I swear that they announcer’s booth secretly hopes for Michael Ryder or Christopher Higgins to score every now and then so that they can use the time to untie their tongue. 

Wild 5, Oilers 2– Minnesota scored the first 4 goals of the match and never looked back in this one, all on the power play.  Mark Parrish scored two of them, whilst singing the lyrics to “How You Remind Me” aloud.  The Wild managed all this without the services of Gaborik, Demitra, and Walz – due to various ailments and personal reasons, as well as Dominic Moore, on account that he sucks.  Edmonton’s ten minor penalties didn’t do much to help their cause.

Avalanche 4, Flames 1– Paul Stastny, the American Canuck from Slovakia, scored two third-period goals to outdistance the Calgary Flames in Denver.  Dion Phaneuf played nearly 25 minutes of the game for Calgary.  Early reports are that he’s quite tired this morning, and could totally go for some grilled cheese.

Panthers 4, Lightning 3– In a battle to determine who’s the greatest team of the Sunshine State, the Panthers surprisingly emerge the victors.  David Booth scored in the final two minutes to break a 3-3 tie.  The Lightning would prefer to play all their games at home for now on, having lost all 7 road matches they’ve played this season.  Packing can be a pain in the ass, man.  There’s so many things you need to remember to put in your bag – toothbrushes, extra socks, a scoring touch.  And those weight limits on checked baggage at the airport?  My God!  How is Chris Gratton supposed pack his ego?

Danno Watch: Dan Boyle was a scratch for this game – Saw 5 just went into pre-production.


1 Comment

  1. To say Sabourin made saves in that shutout, is to imply that the Devils took shots and tried to win, which simply isn’t true.

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