TWW: Derek Boogaard for…All-Star 4th Line Winger Guy!

buttonbg.gifLast time we agreed to support a cause, it was 2 weeks ago and the Phoenix Coyotes wanted you all to know HOW TOTALLY AWESOME THEIR WEBSITE IS! MYFO answered the call with The Weekly Whoring and directed all 12 of our readers to visit the Arizona franchise’s cyberworld of Fun. And how did the Coyotes thank us?

By losing 4 of their next 6 games, and they haven’t scored a goal since last Saturday. Wow.

Is this a MYFO Curse that’s beginning to materialize? It’s hard to tell with such a limited sample size, considering our only other Weekly Whoring was for Versus, and that network’s a trainwreck to begin with. The only way to see if we are capable of this Interweb Voodoo is to continue pimping other people’s products and ideas, and sit back to see if they incur an untimely death. Watch yourself, Weed. If this one backfires, you’re in close proximity of getting suckerpunched by Doom.

Now as you all will remember, the Interwebs were responsible for nearly getting mediocre Canucks defenseman Rory Fitzpatrick a spot on the Western Conference All-Star team. And thanks to Gary Bettman and some fuzzy computer math, he was denied in the eleventh hour. Now while this type of grassroots Project Mayhem mission would normally be right up our alley, it’s been done before. Why should we get behind another terrible write-in candidate only to see the NHL quash our re-run of a dream at the last minute? We like our chaos to be original work, not weaker versions of capers past. So up until today, we were going to pass on the whole “Vote for Random Checking Liner ’08” shtick.

That is, until we were contacted by

If Rory Fitzpatrick had actually made the team, all he would have done was get beat like a rented mule. With the Minnesota Wild’s Derek Boogaard as an all-star, we may actually see some fighting in the All-Star Game. And since we have a history of trying to befriend the Boogeyman in the past, this is surely a campaign we can get behind. So the MYFO Gang has gotten together and conjured up their best campaign slogans below.

Weed Against Speed: “Punch Your Ballot For Me, Derek Boogaard. And Don’t Make Me Have To Tell You Twice, You Pencil-Necked Internet Geek.”

LeNoceur: The Boogeyman v. Hockey Jesus: NHL All Star Game ’08

Hextall454: With every vote, $100 will be donated to the Derek Booggard Center For Children Who Can’t Punch Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.

ReasonableDoubt: Hans Moleman was saying Boo-gaard!

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay: Boogaard-Laraque ’08: Making Mutually Assured Destruction Fun Again!

Raskolnikov: Derek Boogaard: The Sickness unto Death.


1 Comment

  1. Building off of Weed for Speed’s “Punch the ballot, etc” –

    “Punch the ballot for me so I can punch someone’s face for you”

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