Open Letter to Joey Russo and Barry Melrose

Dear Cuntrags,

I caught your stupid little podcast on that pissant website of yours. All I hear about is how horrible I am and how much of a black mark I leave on the sport. Whaaaaaaaaaaa! Who won that fucking game against the Leafs? Me, bitches. A goal and an assist. The fans think my style doesn’t have a place in the game? Blow me. Sean Avery doesn’t play for anyone but Sean Avery and whomever I’m fucking that night. You want sportsmanship, go play in the fucking minors. I’m supposed to be all nice and prissy like a fucking little fairy boy? Fuck you and fuck Lady Byng.

And listen up, Russo. Get the sand out of your cunt and let the real men talk about the sport. You don’t like fighting, go watch basketball. Maybe Carmelo’s bitchslapping is more your style. Here in a real man’s town, New York, if we gotta go down, we’re goin’ down swinging. Get your dyke ass back to fucking Jersey. Unless of course you want me to punch you in the back while I fuck your ass, like I did Mary Kate.

But maybe you’re right. I’ll tone it down. See? I’ll start now with a joke.

Knock Knock.

…..go fuck yourselves.

Signed,

Sean FUCKING Avery

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5 Comments

  1. anytime a post starts off “Dear Cuntrags”, you just know it’s going to be good. Especially with that picture of Avery. Bravo, good sir!

  2. So did he run behind Colton Orr right after putting that in the mailbox?

  3. RD can we have a Sean Avery rant-post every four days for the rest of the season? 2 posts in, already I have a Pavlovian reaction of laughter when I see that pic.

  4. I’ll do what I can, 29. Some days, when I have to deal with clients who I just want to yell at, an Avery post will have to occur. You can imagine how many bond motions I get asked for when a holiday is coming up.

  5. I second HF29’s motion and wish also to include further updates on psycho-stalker ex girlfriend.


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