Making Puck: Crybaby Edition

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After being laid up with a nasty virus yesterday, I know a little something about self-pity. In today’s Making Puck, everybody gets to share in the woe-is-me.

It’s not FAIR! Manny Legace was sensational, particularly in the third period, but the Blues fell to the Wild 3-2 in OT on a Marian Gaborik goal. Hunky Brent Burns also scored for Minnesota, while Brad Boyes and Lee Stempniak did the honors for St. Louis. Special crybaby honorable mention: the Wild fans, who just couldn’t get over a little unpenalized butt-end delivered by Barret Jackman to James Sheppard. Wah!

Mommy! Make him stop! This is a special double entry. In the first, the Canadiens turtled up and got pummeled by the Devils 4-0, with Marty Brodeur getting career shutout no. 94. Super-hottie Zach Parise had a natural hat trick, thoroughly abusing Carey Price. Oh well, I guess the kid is entitled to a bad game or two. In the second vicious beating, the Blackhawks scored six unanswered goals before letting the Coyotes get in a freebie at the end. Sometimes it’s good to be nice to your little brother like that. Dustin Byfuglien had a hat trick for the Hawks.

How come he gets to walk on water, and I have to sit in this leaky boat? Hockey Jesus scored two goals to lead the Penguins past the weary Stars, who were playing their fifth game in eight days. The Penguins had just come off five days off, and it showed.

I’m tired of carrying all your dead asses! Alex Ovechkin did everything he could, scoring two goals and assisting on a third. But it wasn’t enough (again) for the Caps, who fell to the Hurricanes 4-3. If Ovechkin gets hurt, the Caps will lose every game 5-0. Get this guy some help already. The ageless Rod Brind’amour scored twice for Carolina.

Now you quit your crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about. There were also a couple of late games between the Avs and Sharks and the Ducks and Oilers. Maybe I’ll update, or you can click on the link yourselves to see the results, you lazy fucks. I’m going to bed.

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3 Comments

  1. Wow Dustin Byfuglien scored a hat trick! Who the fuck is Dustin Byfuglien?

  2. How come he gets to walk on water, and I have to sit in this leaky boat?

    I have to pay the ferry to cross the Galee,
    but not Sidney Crosby, no not him
    He walks across for free…

    /Arrogant Worms

  3. dear sweet Zach……HAVE ME


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