Making Puck: Saturday Night Fever Edition

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As usual, there was a full slate of games on the NHL schedule Saturday night. And that was on top of the Big 12 Championship game. If all of that couldn’t get you up and boogieing, well, you just plain got no soul. 

Would ya just watch the hair? Jaromir Jagr doesn’t have his gorgeous flowing mullet anymore. But he does still have some skills. His power play goal, and two from Brendan Shanahan, led the Rangers to a 5-2 victory over Ottawa. The Senators’ early-season dominance is starting to look more and more like an illusion, sort of like Travolta’s creative-editing-aided dance moves.

You know what four dollars buys today? It don’t even buy three dollars! The favorable exchange rate for the Canadian dollar didn’t help the Canadiens, who lost at home to Nashville in a shootout. Radek Bonk had one in regulation and one in the shootout, counteracting the two goals of Gui Latendresse. The Canadiens opened a 3-0 lead but couldn’t hold it, as Nashville poured it on with 4 goals on 20 shots in the third period off Christobal Huet.

You assholes almost broke my pussy finger! Alex Ovechkin’s asshole teammates better be damned careful with his pussy finger–all of his fingers, for that matter. Ovechkin once again powered the Capitals with a goal and an assist. This time, it was not in vain as the Panthers could muster only a single goal (assisted, naturally, by Olli Jokkinen). Brian Pothier scored the other goal for Washington.

There are ways of killing yourself without kiling yourself. One of those ways would be to play a road game in Joe Louis Arena the night after getting stomped at home by Chicago. The change of scenery didn’t help the Coyotes, who fell 3-2 to Detroit. Zetterberg, Datsyuk and Cleary were the Coyote killers on Saturday.

I’m sick of guys who ain’t got their shit together! The Blackhawks, particularly G Patrick Lalime, did not have their shit together last night. Lalime gave up a soft goal to enforcer DJ King, and a 40-footer to journeyman Mike Johnson. That was all the Blues needed in cruising to a 3-1 victory. It was St. Louis’ sixth straight win at home. The Hawks apparently shot their wad Friday against Phoenix, as they mustered only 18 shots on goal.

The only way you’re going to survive is to do what you think is right, not what they keep trying to jam you into. Sometimes you hear a story, and it’s so cheesy you can hardly believe it’s true. But Mark Bell did the right thing last night. After scoring his first goal as a Leaf, he pledged to give the puck to his wheelchair-bound nephew. Perhaps Bell, who will be spending some time in jail in the offseason for a DUI conviction, was just trying to balance his karma. At any rate, the Leafs won the game, too, beating the Penguins 4-2.

It’s a decision a girl’s gotta make early in life, if she’s gonna be a nice girl or a cunt. The same principle applies to goaltenders. Wade Dubieliwicz chose to be a nice guy–too nice. He gave up four goals to the Thrashers while filling in for Rick DiPietro. The rest of the Isles took the night off, too. Nothing like getting shut out 4-0 to get the home crowd fired up!

Nice move. Did you make that up? Vincent Lecavalier had some of his nicer moves on display, netting two goals and adding an assist in Tampa’s 4-1 win over Boston. Martin St. Louis and Mathieu Darche also scored for the Lightning. Lecavalier’s first goal was the 250th of his career, and another 250 is not hard to imagine.

You make it with some of these chicks, they think you gotta dance with them. The Stars have been doing a lot of dancing lately, with six games in nine days. But thanks to goals from Jussi Jokinen, Antti Miettinen, Mike Ribeiro and Jeff Halpern, they crushed the Flyers 4-1. Jabba the Turco got the win. Randy Jones scored 41 seconds into the game, but there was no reason for Flyers fans to stick around after that.

You know what Gus? I feel like breaking your broken legs. After absorbing a brutal 8-1 loss, inflicting pain on an innocent bystander can seem like the only reasonable response. You’ll have to ask the Hurricanes if they actually kicked any puppies or broke any already-broken legs. Many, many Sabres scored, no doubt thrilling the home crowd.

You can’t fuck the future. The future fucks you! The future was on display for Columbus, who got goals from Kris Beech, Nikolai Zherdev and two from Curtis Glencross, including the game-winner in OT as the BJs beat Calgary 4-3. Actually, I have no idea who Curtis Glencross is. He could be 38 for all I know. Hey, you try lining up 12 of these quotes.

Oooh! I just kissed Al Pacino! Back in 1977, that was a much more appealing prospect than it is today. Back in 1977, there were no Colorado Avalanche. That didn’t stop them from beating up on the Kings. Paul Stastny and Ryan Smith provided all of the Hoo-ah! that the Avs would need.

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1 Comment

  1. “Many, many Sabres scored, no doubt thrilling the home crowd.”

    I was there, and I was thrilled.

    MYFO – honest reporting since 2007.


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