Making Puck: Dumb & Dumber Edition

Dumb & Dumber

Top of the mornin’ to ya, puckheads. Your Making Puck this morning pays tribute to one of the finest pieces of American cinema ever to be caught on celluoid. It is a film that rivals Citizen Kane in its brilliance, depth and beauty. A little motion picture called…Dumb & Dumber.

Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention: To be honest, Ol’ Weed doesn’t follow the Eastern Conference as closely as I do the Western Conference, but here we go. The Islanders continue to struggle scoring goals – in fact, they haven’t scored more than two goals in regulation in 13 straight games, losing last night 3-1 to the Boston Bruins.  Obligatory NHL.com player quote from Islander captain Bill Guerin: “We’re not trying to split the atom here. We’re playing hockey, and we all have had some success one way or another. We all know how to play.” Super. Power play goals by Glen Murray and Chuck Kobasew and an even-strength goal by Petteri Nokelainen were more than enough for the Bruins to whip the Islanders.

Hey, I guess they’re right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I’ll be right back. Don’t you go dying on me! Old fogey Brendan Shanahan put the Carolina Hurricanes 4-0 shutout of the New York Rangers in perspective quite succinctly when he said, “It was a real stinker. There was nothing good about this one.” I couldn’t have put it better myself, you crotchety old coot. Cory Stillman had a pair of goals, Scott Walker and and David Tanabe had a goal apiece and Cam Ward stopped 28 shots en route to his second shutout of the season in the victory. The easy victory no doubt eradicated the bitter taste left in the mouths of Carolina players resulting from their 8-1 blowout loss to the Sabres on Saturday.

Life is a fragile thing, Har. One minute you’re chewin’ on a burger, the next minute you’re dead meat. Indeed, Lloyd Christmas, indeed. Marty Turco certainly understands this as he treasures every day he gets on the ice – including last night, when the Dallas goalie    outdueled Columbus netminder Pascal Leclaire in a 2-1 shootout victory over the Blue Jackets. Niklas “Larry” Hagman’s shootout goal proved to be the difference in an otherwise lackluster game –  that is, other than the always-electrifying shootout, which went five rounds. The loss leaves Columbus with a record of 1-5 in shootouts this season. For those scoring at home, that isn’t very good.

Pretty bird, yeah, can you say pretty bird? Pretty bird, yeah pretty bird… Polly want a cracker? The pretty bird in this scenario is no other than a penguin, as Pittsburgh outplayed and outwitted Phoenix in a 3-1 win. Pittsburgh’s Youth Brigade did not disapoint, as rookies Kris Letang and Tyler Kennedy each had goals in the victory. Youngsters Sidney Crosby and Jordan Staal contributed as well by each notching an assist. You heard it here first, folks, keep an eye on this Pittsburgh Penguins team – I think they may have a pretty bright future.

I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver’s full of shit, man.  Speaking of Denver, there was a game in that very city last night between the Avalanche and the Sharks! What a kwinky-dink! San Jose edged the Colorado 3-2 in the game and the game winner was a rather fluky goal by Mike Grier that bounced off Avalanche defenseman John-Michael Liles’ leg in the third period. This is what Liles had to say about the goal: “It’s unfortunate that that ended up being the winner, but it’s one of those crazy things.” You ain’t just whistlin’ Dixie, Liles, but I guess someone named John-Michael probably has no idea what that means. Milan Michalek and Steve Bernier also scored for the Sharks and Evgeni Nabokov had 33 saves in the win.

So where are you headin’? – Aspen. – Hmmmm…California! Beautiful! In the place where all the beautiful people live, La La Land, the Edmonton Oilers came in for a visit and left with an impressive 4-3 shootout victory over the Los Angeles Kings. Kings goalie Mathieu Garon stopped all three shots in the shootout while his Edmonton counterpart Jean-Sebastien Aubin was not quite good enough as he gave up one to Oiler Sam Gagner. Dustin Penner actually made good on his huge contract by scoring a goal in the second period for the Oilers. He is so worth the money, isn’t he?

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5 Comments

  1. “Edmonton counterpart Jean-Sebastien Aubin ” I dunno Lloyd, the French are assholes…

  2. Shanahan: “..nothing good about this one. We got no food, we got no jobs, our pets HEADS ARE FALLIN’ OFF!!!”

  3. Pullover! No, it’s a cardigan, but thanks!

  4. […] Making Puck: Dumb & Dumber EditionBy Weed Against SpeedTop of the mornin’ to ya, puckheads. Your Making Puck this morning pays tribute to one of the finest pieces of American cinema ever to be caught on celluoid. It is a film that rivals Citizen Kane in its brilliance, depth and beauty. …Melt Your Face-Off – https://meltyourfaceoff.wordpress.com […]

  5. […] Making Puck: Dumb & Dumber EditionBy Weed Against SpeedTop of the mornin’ to ya, puckheads. Your Making Puck this morning pays tribute to one of the finest pieces of American cinema ever to be caught on celluoid. It is a film that rivals Citizen Kane in its brilliance, depth and beauty. …Melt Your Face-Off – https://meltyourfaceoff.wordpress.com […]


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