Finally, the Wait is Over

For years I have wondered what the world would be like if instead of Michelangelo’s David we had a 7 foot tall Bobby Orr in all his glory. Would there be peace in the Middle East if, instead of Rodin’s Thinker we could see Derek Sanderson, twig, berries, and all? One brave man took it upon himself to answer these questions in a brave experiment at the Deitch Museum in New York ending December 15th. Kurt Kauper proved once and for all that there is a reason there are no larger than life size portraits of past hockey greats. In fact, the world is a poorer place for his efforts.

Kauper had this to say about Orr:

I was completely obsessed with Bobby Orr when I was six, seven and eight.

What little boy doesn’t have sports heroes at that age and, hey, its not that weird for him to just around drawing dicks all day. Something like 8% of kids do it. But seriously, dude, grow up. No amount of claiming to be curious about “the way the male nude is received in our culture” will change that you just want to paint big, veiny, triumphant bastards and show them off.

But enough talking about art, hit the links below to check it out for yourselves, or for those of you looking something a little less man-tastic, I offer you the option of hockey players wives/girlfriends for your perusal. Enjoy, bitches.

Bobby Orr shaving with no shirt


Mike Modano’ wife Willa Ford with no shirt (NSFW)


Bobby Orr running naked (NSFW)


Petr Nedved’s ex-wife, Veronika Vařeková all sandy


Derek Sanderson in front of his locker (NSFW)


Sean Avery ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert (I heard they broke up because she has cancer)


Bobby Orr in “hockey” pose (NSFW)


Wayne Gretky’s wife/whore/bookie Janet Jones on a pile of dirty laundry (NSFW)


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