Brute Force is Not the Best Algorithm

Toni Lydman: If I try to clear the zone up the middle, what could go wrong?  Miller’s got his flak jacket on.


*Tries passing to Afinogenov, pass picked off by Peter Schaefer, who shoots and scores*  

Ryan Miller: AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Rick Jeannerret: Miller?  Miller?  MILLER!!!!!!

Lydman: *chooses “Continue”*

What the hell was that?  I’m Toni Lydman, dammit!  I do what the fuck I want!  That was pure luck.

*tries clearing zone up the middle, pass picked off by Marc Savard, who shoots and scores*

Miller: AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Jeannerret: Miller, are you there?  Miller?  MILLLLLLLLLERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

Lydman: *chooses “Continue”*

C’mon you mullet sporting bathroom prophylactic!  How can you take one shot and go down so goddamn easy?  You’re supposed to be the best fucking goalie in the world!  You’re a legend!

Miller: Legends are fiction, kid. Someone tells it, someone else remembers, everyone passes it on. 

You don’t seem to understand the point of this game.  You’re supposed to avoid contact with the other team, not seek it out like a prostitute. 

Lydman: Fuck that.

*Pulls out Stinger*

*Shoots PJ Axelsson, tries to clear puck up the center of the ice*

Miller: Guhhhh.  That’s not going to help.

*Another PJ Axelsson appears*

*Steals the puck and scores*

Miller: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

Jeannerret: Miller, can you hear me?  Miller?  MILLLLLLLLLLERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lydman: What a bullshit game.  Stealth sucks.

*Pulls out Athena’s Blades of Steel, shaves head*

C’mere Chara, you fucking Cyclops.

*Performs Olympic Ascension*

Zdeno Chara: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*You Have Died*

Fucking hell.  I quit.

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1 Comment

  1. I can’t wait for Tallinder to come back so he can do the exact same thing. Lydman was just picking up his slack.


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