You’re in Love, and That’s the Way It Should Be

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I want you to be happy in Anaheim. You’re in love, and I know that you’re not in love with me. But it’s enough for me to know that you’re in love. Now that I see you’re so happy, it just sets me free. And I’d like us to be as good of friends as we used to be. But not, you know, like when you were calling all the time and coming to my house.

That’s all good for you. But where does that leave me? I know breaking up was the right thing to do, but damn I’ve been lonely. Lee and I never really connected. Sure, there were fireworks, especially early on. But it never got deep, you know? And I’m a little old to just go from one fling to another. I need something stable, someone who’s going to be around when I need him.

I know what you’re thinking–what about Erik? Or David? I do have a bit of a crush on David, but they’re both so young. They’re into Avril Lavigne; I’m into April Wine. When they say they, “Damn, that is one lucky dude to be banging Hillary,” I automatically think of Bill Clinton, not Mike Comrie.

Do you know who might be perfect? That’s right, your replacement. That Andy is cute as a kitten:

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Do you think Paul would take Andy’s temperature, so to speak? He just got here; I don’t want to come on like some slobbering fanboy. He’ll be here at least through next season–there’s no reason to rush into things.

Wish me well, Dougie. And say hi to Chris.

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3 Comments

  1. LeNoceur, my thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of need.

    My recommendation is to buy a nice bottle of wine and a David Backes sweater. He’s young and virile, cheap on the payroll so he’s not going anywhere for awhile and he plays a physical game. He can bang away for hours in the corner and still drive it home at the end of the night.

  2. I’ll miss that tucked in shirt. The black skates. The 5 o’clock shade. The (o-so-very-effective) backwards skating.

    LeNoceur, If you’re into over-the-hill, non-producing centermen, look no further than Walt Tkachuk. I know, he hasn’t got the smooth skin and the sparkle in the eye that Dougie had. But I hear his hugs a firm ones. Just ask Phaneuf.

  3. I suddenly have the urge to eat a ham sandwich…

    Relax. He’ll be back for the start of next season. He just rents himself out to contenders in the meantime. That’s just how he rolls.


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