Welcome Back! (Southeast Edition)

Welcome to the newest feature on MYFO: Welcome Back! We know there’s a lot of fans of football teams that have nothing to pay attention to anymore. Knowing that, they’re turning to other sports. We’re happy to help. Every time a football team’s season ends, we’ll welcome those fans back to the fold by giving them an update as to what that city’s team has been up to this year.

Welcome back, Dolphins fans!

Your Florida Panthers are currently tied for second place in their division. Second place! Much better than a 1-15 season, right?! Goalie Thomas Vokoun has a decent 2.61 GAA and the top line may not be lighting the world on fire, but it’s an upgrade over Cleo Fucking Lemon.

Welcome back, Panthers fans!

YOUR Carolina Hurricanes are in first place in the division. Cory Stillman and Ray Whitney are both in the top 25 scorers in the league. Cam Ward is settling into a groove, and he’s slowly but surely taking John Gramme’s place as the starting goalie. Look, guys! A team in Carolina that is moving away from having a team leader that is eligible for social security!

Welcome back, Falcons fans!

YOUR Atlanta Thrashers could come on the ice, cum on the ice, then fuck the ice in the ass, and still be much better off than your team. Seriously. You guys should be thanking the heavens football season is over. Ilya Kovalchuk has done more positive things this season than the entire Falcons team. This team has a leader that isn’t doing federal time, and a coach that plans to, yanno, finish the year.



  1. did you deliberately pick cities w/ shitty NBA teams? or is that just a happy coincidence?

  2. Happy Coincidence. I think we’re going regional with these…and I happen to be in the bastion of sunshine that is Tampa.

    Don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll be doing a Welcome Back, Bucs Fans! post next week.

  3. oh, I REALLY hope so. not only for the hopes and dreams of my mediocre football team, but also for the hopes and dreams of pictures of Vinny.

    while I’m thinking wishfully, I look forward to “Welcome Back” posts with updates on the Stars, the Caps, and (very wishfully here) the Bruins.

  4. RE: Cleo Lemon: Now, I’m no expert on da football, but this much I know:
    Cleo = fake Jamaican psychic
    Lemon= shitty car.

    ‘Nuff said? or am I just being an idiot again?

  5. That sounds about right to me.

  6. Dolphins fans just want to know why that ice is being wasted on hockey when it could be in their drinks.

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