So the NHL Rosters are out. Who made the cut? Who just barely got shafted out of that coveted starter position, and the contract bonus it comes with? Follow me through the jump and we’ll see which of the rim jobbers in the Motor City made the list, depriving good, hard–working men of a spot on the roster.
On the East Side, graced with the presence of our lord and savior, Sidney Crosby, will be Tampa’s Vinny Lecavalier and Ottawa’s Alfreddson on the front side, with Markov and Chara on the back end, with Martin “Lights Out” Brodeur. The top vote-getters not starting ended up being Ovechkin and Danny Briierererererer and his Emo Bangs. Surprisingly, Johan Holmqvist didn’t make the team. Fucker.
Now, on the West side is the fucking Patriots and Colts of the NHL, the Flames and Red Wings. Yanno what? Fuck these douchebags. If I wanted to see Zetterberg, Dat-suck, Iginla, Lindstrom, and Phaneuf all on the ice at once, I’d go to a fucking Flames/Red Wings game. Not even in the NFL do we have this shit. Who the fuck was voting for this shit? Do they even have the internet in Alberta? Seriously. Who voted for these assholes?
And fucking Luongo between the pipes? He’s sucked all year. Trust me…he’s on my goddamn fantasy team. And how in the blue hell did Joe Sakic make the cut? He has 22 points this year. Twenty-two. Hillary got more votes in Iowa than Sakic has points. That should tell you something.
Jeez, I feel sorry for the fans in…where is the All-Star game?
Nevermind. Fuck those guys too.