Yeah, This Makes Sense

Naegele/Leipold

As most of you are aware of by now, Bob Naegele, the majority owner of the Minnesota Wild, has agreed to sell the team, along with several other associated investments, to former Nashville Predators owner and Wisconsin resident Craig Leipold. Terms of the sale were not disclosed, but it is believed that Naegele sold the team for a whopping $260 million.

The sale doesn’t make sense on several fronts. First off, why would Naegele, a hometown hero for bringing the NHL back to Minnesota, agree to sell? And why would Leipold, fresh off selling another NHL franchise, jump right back into owning another team? That’s where MYFO comes in, folks, to explain it all to you with our usual wit, style and complete lack of regard for anything that could be considered remotely insightful. What follows are the contents of an e-mail thread from yesterday as we attempted to figure out why in the hell Leipold purchased the Wild.

  • Determined to take the Wild out of Hockeytown, U.S.A. and move it to a more viable city. Sell-outs? Wins? That’s not what drives income…threatening to move a team! THAT generates income!
  • Anagram for Nashville Predators: Heartland Piss Lover. Anagram for Minnesota Wild: Medial Sin Town
  • Heard Rascal Flatts was big in St. Paul, too.Purple Rain
  • Since Naegele is the only NHL owner who has purified himself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka, it was only fair Leipold got a shot.
  • Mikko Koivu just sounds adorable.
  • Believes he could probably start at small forward for the Timberwolves.
  • Because everyone in Columbus was too depressed to return phone calls after the BCS Championship.
  • Leipold, finding ruining hockey in Tennessee too easy, wanted to move on to a more difficult challenge — ruining hockey in Minnesota.Mary Tyler Moore Statue
  • Being a huge fan of the television show Mary Tyler Moore, which was set in the Twin Cities, Leipold truly believes this is the one way he can ensure he’ll “make it after all”. Also mistakenly thought he would run into Jules Asner, not Ed, because of this.
  • Minnesota fans demand an owner with a more easily pronounceable name.
  • Wants to compare wine cellars with BOOOOGAAAAAARD!
  • Wants to appear in a Coen brothers film.
  • Thinks Mark Parrish can get him backstage the next time Nickelback is in town.Jessica Lange
  • Heard Loni Anderson and Jessica Lange are from Minnesota. Va va va voooom! Craigers like Cougars!
  • Mistakenly believed it provided him the opportunity to meet Hayden T. Fox
  • Leipold would like to be Team Captain for a month.
  • Hasn’t heard that Camp Snoopy at the Mall of America is now just a shitty Nickelodeon-themed amusement park.
  • Wanted to add a new way to get himself in a game of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon”.
  • Enjoys the way all the potholes in Minnesota tickle his naughty bits when driving.Purple Jesus
  • As a Midwesterner with family values, he wanted to be as close to Purple Jesus as possible.
  • Nashville and the Twin Cities: both settings in Robert Altman films
  • 3 words: Thriving Gay Community.
  • Despite the fact their names are spelled differently, Leipold believes since ex-Gopher hockey star Jordan Leopold was successful in Minnesota, he will find success as well.
  • Enjoys the way Jacques Lemaire says or-gan-i-za-tion.
  • Always wanted to be taken to Funkytown.
  • Believes his wife, who is the heir to the S.C. Johnson fortune (makers of Pledge, Windex, Off!, Raid), can have her company create a product to cure Gaborik’s nagging groin injuries.MST3K
  • Heard MST3K was filmed in Minnesota. Huge, huge fan.
  • Mistakenly thought he was buying District Five Pee-Wee Hockey Team.
  • Leipold was talking to some guy in an airport bar who was selling a hockey team, and thought, hey, he just sold one too, and when the other guy gave him a napkin or something which he thought was for his autograph, he signed it. Next thing he knows the other guy was saying stuff like “legally binding contract!” and “see you at the press conference!”.

And finally,

  • Leipold’s hoping to get traded to Boston.
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3 Comments

  1. It’s Casual Friday at the Energy Center. Orange flannel? Really?

  2. Hex, that’s how he rolls. He’s a huge grunge music fan.

    And don’t you think he looks a little like Kirk Douglas, um, before the stroke?

  3. I miss MST3K.


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