Marty Brodeur House Party: Part Deux


Doc: Oh my goodness! The lights are whipping around faster than a Tiger Williams left uppercut! Partygoers are dancing to the Oakenfold beats!

Edzo: Great play by Brodeur down there, Doc. He sensed that the party was losing some of its steam due to the first keg being completely tapped. Brodeur sent Paul Martin to shut the lights off while he pulled told the DJ to switch the music.

Doc: Chico is tasting some of the drugs going around the party. What have you got for us, Chico?

Chico: Doc, a pink-and-purple-haired young man just handed me a tiny red pill. I don’t know what its contents are.

*Swallows pill, tries chewing it*

ACCCCKKKKKKK!!!! That doesn’t taste like cherries! You piece of Jersey trash! If I get my hands on you, I’ll … I’ll …

Doc: Chico, what’s going on?

Chico: I’ll feel like dancing!!

Doc: Chico Resch has grabbed a pair of neon green glowsticks and is thrashing around Brodeur’s basement! He’s waving those chemiluminescent batons in curved patterns reminiscent of Maxim Afinogenov!

Chico: Why do goalies take syringes in the ass? This stuff makes me as flexible as Dominik Hasek! I can do the splits! I can breakdance! I can lick my own nuts!



Edzo: Sounds like the tearing of a couple intertransversarii, Doc. Chico got a little ahead of himself there.

Watch this. Here’s Chico waving his glowsticks. He’s stopped so that he can pull a Marilyn Manson. Stop it right here! His lower back is not in great shape after years of eating New Jersey concessions. Look at that back flab jiggling like Roman Turek’s gut. There’s no way he’s going to orally self-fellate. Now roll it. When Chico tries to go down to his junk, he’s obviously hurt himself badly.

Doc: Looks like Mrs. Resch is going to have to be on top for a little while.

There’s a commotion at the front door of Brodeur’s house. Ken Daneyko, Lyle Odelein, and Cam Janssen are jawing with a group of people.

Edzo: Doc, it couldn’t be, could it?

Doc: Holy smokes! Daneyko, Odelein, and Janssen have been pushed out of the way by a menacing crew of gentlemen clad in orange and blue!

Edzo: Oh shit.

Doc: IT’S GARTH SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!



  1. Daneyko, Odelein, and Janssen have been pushed out of the way by a menacing crew of gentlemen clad in orange and blue

    Ha! By who, Richard Park?

  2. Ha! By who, Richard Park?

    No, by Steve Webb and… um… nevermind…

  3. thanks for the second part of the house party. There weren’t quite enough people giving me odd looks in the computer lab, and now that quota is filled. Garth Snow should make the party REALLY interesting, provided he brings some “snow” of his own.

  4. Garth Snow will most certainly be bringing along a date: Kyle Okposo.

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