Mike Keenan Doesn’t Skip Steps

I’m a nice guy now

Mike Keenan is primarily known for two things in his hockey career: being the coach that ended the Rangers’ 54-year Stanley Cup drought, and being an incorrigible asshole. The former will never change, but it seems that Iron Mike is trying to do something about the latter.

Yep, it’s a kinder, gentler Mike Keenan these days. The Flames signed Curtis Joseph as goaltender insurance the other day; apparently this came about after Keenan personally apologized to CuJo for his assholiness while both were in St. Louis. While a cynic might suggest that necessity (i.e., Mikka Kiprusoff’s soaring GAA) is the mother of invention, I think something else is going on: Keenan has been going to Assholes Anonymous meetings.

The first step, as well know, is admitting that there is a problem. Keenan was widely credited/blamed for shuffling Kristian Huselius out of Florida during Keenan’s stop there; many assumed that Huselius would be in a taxi for the airport once Keenan arrived in Calgary (where he had shipped Huselius in the first place). Instead, they are getting along famously.

Now comes the reputed apology to CuJo. Next thing you know, Iron Mike will become Marshmallow Mike, tearing up like Dick Vermeil in his post-game press conferences. “Dion Phaneuf is like the son I never had. He makes me wish I had been a better dad to my own kids.”

Still, there are a few more people–cities, actually–to whom Keenan owes an apology:

  • Vancouver: “Um, sorry I rode Trevor Linden down in the media, and traded the franchise icon to the hinterlands of Long Island.”
  • South Florida: “Sorry I traded Roberto Luongo for Todd Bertuzzi. Guess that didn’t work out, huh?”
  • St. Louis: “Sorry I brought in all those dead weight players like Adam Creighton and Stephane Matteau. Also, sorry I repeatedly pissed off the greatest player in franchise history.

Add your own in the comments.



  1. Next thing you know, Iron Mike will become Marshmallow Mike,


    Also, Happy Trogday, everyone!

  2. Other members of Assholes Anonymous: Claude Lemieux, Chris Simon, the former owners of the Winnipeg Jets, Esa Tikannen (’cause no one knows what the hell he’s says), Rachel Ray and Sidney Crosby’s man boobs.

  3. “My name is Mike and………and…….and I’m an asshole.”

    (in unison) HI MIKE!!!!!!!!

  4. He’s an asshole, Sir.

  5. I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
    While people behind me are going insane

  6. Mike owes Niedermeyer a sincere apology and a dinner at Mendy’s for peeing in his coffee every morning while in Florida.

  7. I park in handicapped spaces
    While handicapped people make handicapped faces!

  8. @ loser domi: Today is a great day for burninating.

  9. Burnination, marshmallows… Who wants s’mores? Kiprusoff is bringing the graham crackers, right?

  10. I like hockey , porno and books about war

    But sometimes that just ain’t enough to keep a man like me interested…
    I walk around in the summertime saying “What about this heat”

    Bettman bashing is always ok here, right?

    S’mores sounds like an awesome idea. Who’s got the chocolate?

  11. Wouldn’t trading Luongo to Vancouver be enough of an apology? (as for the Cats and St. Lou, guess they’ll be waiting a bit longer.)

  12. Keenan owes Linden a sincere apology for what he said to him after that St. Louis game…you do not say that to a franchise player.

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