Hockey Jesus sprains his ankle

Ye, verily, on the 18th day of the first month of the Year of Our Lord, 2008, the Second Coming, Hockey Jesus himself, Sidney Crosby, came up lame. It is undetermined how long he will be out, but it’s a safe bet that he will not be available for the All-Star game.

Tomorrow, MYFO’s own Legend of Vincent Tremblay will provide his own first-hand account, and the Book of Vincent will surely be written.

For now, Evgeni Malkin will ask that Hockey Jesus be rehabbed in the traditional Mario garb. Try to sleep tonight, my friends. Comment and leave your condolences for our Lord and Savior, Sidney Crosby. His final words to the hockey world are after the jump.

Bettman, forgive them. They know not what they do.

Truly, I say to you, tonight you will be in my bed, Puck Bunny.

Mario, behold your prodigy: behold your star.

Why hast thou forsaken my ankle?

I thirst. Where’s my Gatorade?

It is finished.

Father, into your hands I commend my ankle.

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2 Comments

  1. I’m guessing three days.

  2. I guess he injured himself to save us from our sins. Bless you, Hockey Jesus. Bless your heart. :*(


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