MYFO Liveblog: The NHL Super Skills Exhibition

Evening, cats and kittens. At 7:00 PM EST, your MYFO Favorites will gather to liveblog the Dodge NHL SuperSkills Exhibition. Join us after the jump for updates and follow along in the comments. There’s no football tonight. You have no excuses.

Update 6:59 PM EST: UFC/WEC/Whatever else stuff bothers the hell out of me. But here we go!

7:15 PM EST Update: Weed Against Speed has joined the conference.

Reasonable Doubt: The Unfrozen Caveman is creepier in HD.
Weed Against Speed: You know it.
Reasonable Doubt: The rest of the MYFO Fuckers are showing up late, but we’re here to poke fun at multi-millionaires running around like jackasses.
Reasonable Doubt: Introduction time!
Weed Against Speed: You throw a couple of the all-stars together and you got yourself a Gwar cover band.
Reasonable Doubt: That is one dead crowd.
Weed Against Speed: Marian Gaborik just hurt his groin.
Reasonable Doubt: You can Dat-syuk my balls, cap-e-tan
Weed Against Speed: Fire! Fire!
Reasonable Doubt: Chris Pronger wants you to know how honored he feels as a new player in the NHL
Weed Against Speed: The more I think about it, the NHL is the Gwar of professional sports.
Reasonable Doubt: Niche audience, and hit or miss every live show
Reasonable Doubt: Hey! Manny Legace is still alive!
Weed Against Speed: When does Justin Timberlake come out? Those lights are bringing the sexy back.
Weed Against Speed: Oh oh. Mascots. Let’s hope there are no sexual assaults tonight.
Reasonable Doubt: VINNY LEC!
Reasonable Doubt: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Reasonable Doubt: Listen to the boos!
Weed Against Speed: He is confused by the modern technology. Sometimes he wants to jump out of his BMW and run to the hills…or whatever.
Weed Against Speed: Tim Thomas looks like a gym teacher.
Reasonable Doubt: By way of “breaking” news, the Lightning and Rangers are opening next season in Prague, much to my dismay.
Reasonable Doubt: And the Penguins and Senators are playing in Stockholm.
Weed Against Speed: Shoulda been you Amstredam.
Reasonable Doubt: This is your liveblog.
Reasonable Doubt: This is your liveblog on drugs.
Reasonable Doubt: Any questions?

7:25 PM EST Update: Weed Against Speed: What are you implying, RD?
Reasonable Doubt: That you’re living up to your name, my friend.
Weed Against Speed: Sigh.
Reasonable Doubt: Hey! We get to see goalies taking shots from center ice…any bets on who makes the first one?
Reasonable Doubt: Legace may go 4 for 4 just in hopes that they’ll pull him out of the net in St. Louis
Weed Against Speed: Touche.
Weed Against Speed: MMA is the future. Brock Lesner told me so while he was thinking about sucking The Ultimate Warrior’s cock.
Reasonable Doubt: Yanno, I used to watch wrestling every week…Brock Lesnar was the single biggest disappointment in the ring that I ever saw.
Reasonable Doubt: (Wasn’t he a gopher, to boot?)
Weed Against Speed: The pressure’s on…to find the nearest strip club to the arena.
Reasonable Doubt: This computer simulation of the obstacle course is awesome
Weed Against Speed: National champion.
Reasonable Doubt: The Ron HEXTALL shot.
Weed Against Speed: That isn’t real? How come the fuck./puts down J
Weed Against Speed: Speaking of which…
Reasonable Doubt: You SUCK, Pronger!
Weed Against Speed: I hope his wife told him it was okay to participate…
Reasonable Doubt: Go East!
Reasonable Doubt: WHOOOO!
Reasonable Doubt: Yeah, Thomas ain’t going to be switching to a winger any time soon.
Weed Against Speed: The West is the best, RD. Ask Morrison. Or don’t.
Reasonable Doubt: Tim Thomas was trying to riccochet the puck off the barrier

7:29 PM EST Update: Weed Against Speed: “I’d like to talk to you, but I don’t speak the same language. Do you want fuck bitches?”
Reasonable Doubt: My love for you is ticking clock, BeZERRRRKERRRR
Weed Against Speed: “Did he just say making fuck?”
Weed Against Speed: Spezza is a great pasta for a ragu sauce.
Reasonable Doubt: Malkin sucks!
Reasonable Doubt: DiPietro, the man with the safest job in sports.
Reasonable Doubt: And he makes three of four!
Weed Against Speed: Don Beaupre would have taken his goalie stick and fucked someone up.
Reasonable Doubt: HI
Reasonable Doubt: I AM ILYA KOVALCHUK
Reasonable Doubt: STAY TUNE VERSE US

7:39 PM EST Update:
Weed Against Speed: Dostoevsky’s ghost weeps.
Reasonable Doubt: I don’t know if you just had the Burger King commercial I did.
Reasonable Doubt: They tell people BK no longer serves the Whopper and they freak out.
Reasonable Doubt: Then the King comes out and gives them a Whopper and a hug.
Reasonable Doubt: That would freak me out far worse than the discontinuation of the Whopper.
Reasonable Doubt: The King scares the piss out of me
Hextall has joined the conference.

Reasonable Doubt: Hey Hex
Hextall: HEY!
Weed Against Speed: The King fucked my boss. Right in the ass!
Weed Against Speed: Hey hey hey!
Weed Against Speed: /smoke break
Hextall: Peter?
Reasonable Doubt: The Fastest Skater competition starts….and I’m waiting for someone to fall flat on their face
Hextall: Emrick?
Reasonable Doubt: Marty!!!
Hextall: Why do they make them carry sticks in this event?
Reasonable Doubt: That’s a good question.
Hextall: Don’t feel that proud – he beat a member of the LA Kings.
Reasonable Doubt: It does!
Reasonable Doubt: Each time, it looks like the guy who “lost” wins.
Reasonable Doubt: RIGGED
Weed Against Speed: The Wild didn’t let Gaborik participate.
Hextall: So when does Ice Girl foxy boxing begin?
Weed Against Speed: As soon as you pay $8.95 for it, Hex.
Reasonable Doubt: Is there a button for that on my remote?
Hextall: canadian or american?
Hextall has left the conference.

Hextall has joined the conference.

Weed Against Speed: You need to buy that remote at an adult bookstore.

7:49 PM EST Update: Hextall has joined the conference.

Hextall: ok…technical difficulties
Reasonable Doubt: Please stand by!
Weed Against Speed: I’m here. Where am I?
Hextall: and by that I mean my kid keeps walking overr and pressing all the keys on the keyboard at once
Reasonable Doubt: It’s okay! You’re going to be….okay.
Weed Against Speed: I feel your pain Hex. They are wonderful, yet troublesome little creatures, aren’t they?
Hextall: Yes. When it comes to computers, her M.O. is “GRIMLOCK SMASH!”
Reasonable Doubt: Hossa got stoned.
Reasonable Doubt: Oh….sorry.
Weed Against Speed: Hex, I think Dell offers insurance on toddler damage.
Weed Against Speed: Not really.
Weed Against Speed: RD, I missed your comment because I was smoking a one-hitter. Which is defintiely a misnomer.
Hextall: Your Islander goalie through 2035 – RICK DEPIETRO EVERYBODY!
Reasonable Doubt: Don’t forget your towel!
Reasonable Doubt: “Nice work down there! Can you hear us??”
Reasonable Doubt: “………………………”
Hextall: technical problem = you’re on Versus
Weed Against Speed: I woulda went with jazz hands. That would have spooked the goalie.
Reasonable Doubt: He can hear you. He’s just ignoring you.
Reasonable Doubt: I’ve made relationships last years with that technique.
Hextall: My mom still haes you, Scott.
Weed Against Speed: Gabbby!
Reasonable Doubt: Wow…that was close
Reasonable Doubt: DiPietro saved it by about half an inch

7:56 PM EST Update:Weed Against Speed: Aw shit. Really, for those who don’t see him on regular basis, Gaborik is electric. /blatant homerism
Hextall: Did he just say “Slick move there, Rick?”
Reasonable Doubt: That he did
Hextall: “He made it look Easy, E.”
Weed Against Speed: Tell your mama to get off of my tip /eazy-e
Hextall: KIMMO!
Weed Against Speed: Why you wanna deny the Spazza? Have a hot dago!
Hextall: Tim Thomas can break dance. I did not know this.
Reasonable Doubt: Tim Thomas can do the Turtle!
Weed Against Speed: Weak sauce.
Reasonable Doubt: Avery could have made that shot.
Reasonable Doubt: Just sayin’.
Weed Against Speed: What a cuntrag for saying that, man.
Weed Against Speed: <smiley face>
Reasonable Doubt: Cum Dumpster
Reasonable Doubt: Manny Legace spreads his legs for anyone.
Hextall: LeNoc would be happy to hear that.
Weed Against Speed: Slut.

8:09 PM EST Update:Hextall: brb
Reasonable Doubt: <Politics Break> Obama with 50% of the vote in South Carolina with 9% reporting.
Weed Against Speed has left the conference.

Reasonable Doubt: Racist.
Weed Against Speed has joined the conference.

Reasonable Doubt: YoungStars!
Weed Against Speed: Hooy boy. I dropped out there. And I also lost my internet connection.
Reasonable Doubt: Sabres/Lightning on Tuesday. Open thread?
Weed Against Speed: If it were the Wild I might listen.
Reasonable Doubt: Are these kids even old enough to vote?
Reasonable Doubt: David Perron just showed us his O-Face.
Reasonable Doubt: Oh, there are goalies for this? That makes things much less fun
Weed Against Speed: I was trying to figure that out myself, Reasonable.
Reasonable Doubt: GOOOOOOAL
Reasonable Doubt: Backstrom with the nice re-direct
Hextall: Chris Osgood believes you are using the term “goalie” all too loosely.
Reasonable Doubt: Through campfire and Flinstone!
Reasonable Doubt: It’s Patrick KANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8:12 PM EST Update:Weed Against Speed: Despite what others may say, this is not as bad as the NBA All-Star weekend.
Reasonable Doubt: Nice shot by Staal.
Reasonable Doubt: And he didn’t punch anyone to do it.
Weed Against Speed: Slick.
Reasonable Doubt: With any luck, Osgood’s confidence will be shattered by this.
Reasonable Doubt: Dauber Dubinski looks good for having been on a football team 15-20 years ago.
Reasonable Doubt: And that’s the end of the 1st.

8:20 PM EST Update:Weed Against Speed: Holy crap. It’s only a 1/3 done?
Reasonable Doubt: Indeed.
Weed Against Speed: Apparently, there are 5 players from Minnesota playing in this game. I read it in the paper. A little info.
Reasonable Doubt: Awesome
Reasonable Doubt: I think there’s three Lightning players
Weed Against Speed: It was the National Enquirer.
Reasonable Doubt: Weekly World News?
Weed Against Speed: You guys draw pretty well down there in Tampa, right, RD?
Reasonable Doubt: Yeah, almost a full house every night
Hextall: The Flyers have some promising rookie named “Steve Downie.” Why isn’t he there?
Reasonable Doubt: Legace’s so desperate to get out of St. Louis, he wants to be a play-by-play guy now.
Reasonable Doubt: Another Marty Brodeur save?
Weed Against Speed: See, the NHL can work in “unconventional” markets, if you want to call them that, if the team is maketed well. God bless Gary Bettman. Not really. But good for Tampa.
Reasonable Doubt: The NHL can work in unconventional markets if the team wins.
Weed Against Speed: So true, my friend.
Reasonable Doubt: They drew shit until they started making playoff runs
Reasonable Doubt: And that’s the end of the second

8:27 PM EST Update: Hextall: Yeah I remember the Flyers getting ousted by them a decade ago thanks to Alexander Selivanov. I still hate that guy.
Weed Against Speed: I cannot wait until Vs. really blows up – like when they are available in 40% of the markets.
Reasonable Doubt: Lightning/Flyers is still the league record for attendance
Reasonable Doubt: This DirecTV commercial tells me that my cable company doesn’t have HD.
Reasonable Doubt: But this commercial is the first non-HD thing I’ve seen all day.
Weed Against Speed: You know what sucks? I missed essentially the whole decade of the ’90’s thanks to the North Stars leaving. That’s gay. I’ll step off my soapbox now.
Reasonable Doubt: But you had District 5’s Pee Wee Hockey team
Reasonable Doubt: The Minnesota Miracle
Weed Against Speed: I feel better now.
Reasonable Doubt: Wait–first half?
Reasonable Doubt: There’s two more periods of this?
Hextall: What about the kids in the first movie who essentially were told “Hey, you’re not interesting enough for a sequel. Like Jesse Hall’s brother.”
Reasonable Doubt: Or is the YoungStars game over, and all that’s left is the Style Portion?

8:44 PM EST Update:Weed Against Speed: I read that first as Style Python, andI thought, hey, that sounds cool.
Reasonable Doubt: The Swimsuit Competition
Weed Against Speed: *and I
Hextall: I swear that first Lidstrom highlight just there was actually Holmstrom.
Reasonable Doubt: Hey, Vinny. If you want the Bolts to scratch for every point, you need to get a better goalie.
Reasonable Doubt: Plate Breaking! Yay!
Hextall: Is he related to Frantisek?
Reasonable Doubt: THE STAAL BROTHERS ARE MAKING ME WRITE THIS
Hextall: lol
Reasonable Doubt: I miss that tag
Weed Against Speed: It’s a classic.
Reasonable Doubt: Hossa kind of bit the big one on that
Reasonable Doubt: 3 for 4….
Reasonable Doubt: HAHAHAHAHA
Reasonable Doubt: Loser
Weed Against Speed: I wish I could actually stand on a pair of ice skates, let alone shoot while wearing them. What an uncoordinated fuck.
Reasonable Doubt: Borque! Borque! Borque!
Reasonable Doubt: /Swedish Chef
Hextall: I thought you have to demonstrate that skill to get a drivers license in Minnesota.

8:57 PM EST Update:
Weed Against Speed: Nope. You just have to be able to produce a quality hot dish recipe.
Reasonable Doubt: We always get the weirdest shit following our liveblogs.
Reasonable Doubt: The Ice Bowl has Seal
Reasonable Doubt: This has Bull Riding
Weed Against Speed: There’s a huge crossover in those markets.
Reasonable Doubt: Indeed.
Weed Against Speed: Oooh! Is this the part where someone gets hurt?
Reasonable Doubt: This is the Fulton Reed competition
Hextall: The Young Stars have to play goal in this one.
Reasonable Doubt: Fuck you, Old Man Winter.
Reasonable Doubt: THIS ISN’T THE MIDDLE OF THE YEAR FOR YOU, FUCKO
Reasonable Doubt: YOU PLAYED 19 GAMES
Reasonable Doubt: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
Reasonable Doubt: /shits pants
Hextall: Go, Zendo!
Weed Against Speed: I agree.
Reasonable Doubt: Zendooooo
Weed Against Speed: /dick joke
Reasonable Doubt: 88 MILES…AN HOOOOUUUUURRRRR
Reasonable Doubt: Unfrozen Caveman Forward
Reasonable Doubt: Whoo hoo Vinny Lec! 101.9!
Hextall: “he uses the Bowflex”
Weed Against Speed: I have a Bowflex. It really gets in the way.
Reasonable Doubt: I have a Wii.
Reasonable Doubt: That’s all I niid
Reasonable Doubt: …….I’ll show myself out.
Weed Against Speed: My brother works at Best Buy. I have a Wii reserved.
Reasonable Doubt: It’s fantastic.
Weed Against Speed: Well played.
Reasonable Doubt: I do the fitness test every morning to wake me up.

9:00 PM EST Update:Hextall: I’ll stick to sniffing glue to wake me up
Weed Against Speed: We should set up a hockey league where blogs face off against each other. Since I can’t skate, I ‘ll be the goalie.
Reasonable Doubt: Zendo!!
Weed Against Speed: Diet pills work as well, Hex.
Reasonable Doubt: 103.1~!
Hextall: KA BOOM!
Hextall: You are like the buzzing of flies to Zendo!
Reasonable Doubt: The Slam Dunk Competition is next.

9:14 PM EST Update:Weed Against Speed: Are you sure it isn’t the Home Run Derby?
Reasonable Doubt: The QB Challenge, maybe.
Hextall: Scott Mellanby?!?!?!?!?
Hextall: He’s still alive?
Hextall: He looks like Tom Tucker in real life
Reasonable Doubt: Dominique Wilkens? Seriously?
Weed Against Speed: Let’s go to the Blackie weather forecast…
Reasonable Doubt: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Reasonable Doubt: The Black-u-Weather Forcast..
Reasonable Doubt: IT GON RAIN!
Reasonable Doubt: Thank you, Ollie
Weed Against Speed: My bad.
Weed Against Speed: WHO WANTS THIS DOG?!?!
Reasonable Doubt: BOOOOOOOOOOOO
Weed Against Speed: Shoulda been you, 8 year old kid who did it.
Reasonable Doubt: If someone does the Knuckle Puck, I’ll lose it.
Hextall: Someone needs to shoot blindfolded
Hextall: Ceballos style
Weed Against Speed: Lame.
Reasonable Doubt: Try it with your helmet on backwards
Reasonable Doubt: Or with a goalie helmet on
Weed Against Speed: Triple lutz it, cock knockers. (spelling questionable)
Hextall: No, you spelled cock kockers right.
Reasonable Doubt: In the computer sim, somebody flipped it over the goalie’s head from the back of the net. That’d be badass
Weed Against Speed: I’ll keep setting ’em up…
Weed Against Speed: Someone should do the “Wes Walz” where you just plow into the net and the puck gets caught in your breezers. Actually happened.
Hextall: shh…Wes Walz may be reading our live blog.

9:23 PM EST Update:Weed Against Speed: Ahh…he’s worn out from grocery shopping…he’s asleep by now.
Reasonable Doubt: RUH ROH
Reasonable Doubt: “I just fucked my hip up again.”
Hextall: That’s what I heard.
Weed Against Speed: CAPTAIN CAVE—-MAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN-NNNNN.
Reasonable Doubt: SO CLOSE
Weed Against Speed: Wait. That wasn’t Ufford…
Reasonable Doubt: Ovechkin is too tan to be Ufford.
Hextall: Copy paper is too tan to be Ufford.
Reasonable Doubt: Indeed.
Reasonable Doubt: Watching the Super Bowl with him, the waitress came by a couple times to ask if he was okay.
Reasonable Doubt: He looked like he was losing blood.
Weed Against Speed: Did you see him in Leitch’s photos from his book release party? Pale, indeed.
Reasonable Doubt: Somewhere, I have a photo of me, him, and Winslow in the pouring down rain in MIami
Reasonable Doubt: We look like drowned rats
Weed Against Speed: Far out, RD.
Reasonable Doubt: Most miserable Super Bowl ever.
Reasonable Doubt: And the East wins!
Reasonable Doubt: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Reasonable Doubt: /special ed
Weed Against Speed: I’m gonna change my name to Toothy McMolar, NHL dentist.
Reasonable Doubt: Can we have a Yo Mama contest between Legace and DiPietro?
Hextall: Alright kids, I’m out. See you tomorrow for the live blog game.

And that’ll do it for tonight, gang. Join us tomorrow at 6 PM EST for the liveblog of the All-Star Game. Have a good night!

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43 Comments

  1. Bets on the Slam Dunk contest? I got Datsyuk.

  2. let’s do this! and by do this, I mean…um…yeah

  3. Hey-yo!

  4. Hey Cinnamon. It’s almost like you’re in the next room!

  5. Almost, but not if you really want me to be ….

  6. The hills are alive…

    /with the sound of music.
    /with the sound of hoc-key.

    whatever!

  7. This is your liveblog on drugs. How DARE you have a wino tell me not to do drugs?

  8. How dare you call me a wino?

    Drinking vodka…

  9. I was referring to RD.

  10. Reasonable Doubt: The Unfrozen Caveman is creepier in HD.

    Does he have a Segway? Inquiring minds need to know!

  11. Hey! I’m not nearly as think as your drunk I am.

  12. No Segway….

    yet

  13. “No Segway….yet” He s sick! He is CRAZY! And looking for girls…

  14. Of course, isn’t that the point of these here internets?

  15. Now, I don’t know my Russian, but to my ears “KOVALCHUK” sounds like something edible, like maybe a stew or something. Is that just me?

  16. Come on, I want to see somebody blow a tire in the 4th turn!

  17. Only if you are Rachel Ray and your main ingedient is EVOO (extra-virgin olice oil)

    /still love you

  18. Reasonable Doubt: Malkin sucks! But Sidney swallows. Guess what I was doing last night!

    /totally making shit up just to get a reaction

  19. Legend: why don’t you join the liveblog?

  20. /still love you

    Aww,,,thanks CinnamonGirl, I’ll take all the love I can get

  21. Guess what I was doing last night!

    There’s no way this will end well….every comment I’m about to make will cause me pain.

  22. Is Horcoff that short,Chris Simpson that tall, or a little of both?

  23. exactly.

  24. Weed, I’m at my niece’s birthday party, posting from my phone. I’ll make damn sure I’m home for the ASG liveblog.

  25. “There’s no way this will end well”

    That’s why I added the “/totally making shit up ” at the end there.

    “Hextall: So when does Ice Girl foxy boxing begin?” You don’t want them to do it on the ice–you wouldn’t want those girls to get chest colds, would you?

  26. That could be a BIG problem…

  27. Timonen’s hair is looking fine tonight. He must condition. And no, Thomas, you don’t get style points for breakdancing in the crease.

  28. YoungStars! Do any of these guys even shave yet?

    Enjoying the live bloggery, guys.

  29. CInnamonGirl, what’s your vodka brand? I’ve just discovered Cold River Vodka, a potato vodka made in Maine. It’s fantastic, and none of my money goes to the evil French vodka cartel.

  30. Thanks for using your last initial Jeff K. We have so many Jeffs here – it’s good we can keep them straight.

  31. Wait. Which Jeff K. is this?

  32. Jeffy….Dahmer?

    Go for gold!!

  33. Oh, I’m just a huge fan of your blog. Your Winter Classic live blog was . . . uh . . . classic.

    How is this YoungStars! game different than the shootout? Every shot is a breakaway.

  34. After the game the players can’t drink beer.

  35. Legace is cracking me up. They should have a mic on these guys in every game.

    And now I’m sick of the foghorn.

  36. “They’re using two tons of ice” to make the ice sculptures.

    That’s a great idea, since Atlanta is completely out of water. Good work.

  37. Lecavalier instead of Gonchar? Weak.

  38. Lecavalier 101.9. I’ll shut up now.

  39. THE AMAZING ZENDO!

  40. Nabakov should be sent home. We didn’t tune in to see poke checks, shithead.

  41. Why does CBC insist on the ice level camera for the shootout?

  42. coming home to catch the late-night replay = dreaming of Vinny’s hard shooting all night

  43. Ahw, balls. I missed out on the fun. I might just blame this on all the snow that dumped down on Spokane today. Messing my day up and what not.

    Dude, plus 2 points for the Might Ducks references.

    Anyone have an idea of where I can get a Charlie Conway jersey?


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