MYFO Undercover Special Edition: A Mrs. Bettman Diary Entry


Over the past few weeks, through the efforts of our crack undercover investigative team, we have brought you several excerpts from the pages of NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman’s private diary. Upon further inspection of Mr. Bettman’s diary, we have realized there were a few pages stuck together (what substance caused this is undetermined at this time and will more than likely continue to be unknown as no one here at MYFO really wants to know). In between the pages appeared to be a page torn out of a journal. We have confirmed that the page is an entry from Mrs. Bettman’s personal diary. Why was it in the Commissioner’s diary? Would it provide us some insight into what it is like to be married to the Commissioner and therefore, into the distorted psyche and twisted mind of the Bettster? We shall see.

Note: For the uninitiated, MYFO team member Raskolnikov, through his own investigative efforts, had already identified and actually came in contact with Mrs. Bettman. If you have not done so already, you can find documentation of his findings here.


“Dear Diary,

Today was a rougher day than most. The hubby was in a bad mood for whatever reason and he was very short with me. When I asked him what was troubling him he erupted and snapped at me. He told me I was “wearing out” and something about me “not being tight enough anymore” and “having very little elasticity left”. Yeah, right! A finger cot would be more than sufficient for his little willy!

Now my once-adoring husband has said he might begin looking for a replacement for me, maybe with something in the crew variety. How could he say such hurtful things? I think it all stems from when I wasn’t interested in participating in a threesome with that slutty wool he met at the office. He couldn’t understand I was worried about static cling. How embarrassing would that be?

I wish I had someone to talk to about all this with. The lies. The manipulation. The way he’ll just leave me laying on the floor when he’s done with me. But he can be so thoughtful, like the time he gave me that gift set of bath creams. And what a tender lover. Sometimes he even weeps after lovemaking.

But the infidelity. I just cannot take his sleeping around anymore. They all hurt in their own way, but the one that caused me the greatest despair was his one-night stand with a Tabi. Until I found out, I never knew Gary was into Asians.

He even went so far as to say that one day he’ll just use me as a puppet to entertain the grandkids! I don’t know what to think anymore. Maybe I’ll take a nice soapy Whirlpool bath. Yes, that will make me feel better. And you know what? Tonight, I’m sleeping in the dryer. Let Gary comfort himself with a leg warmer tonight. I simply do not care anymore. It hurts too much.”


1 Comment

  1. More like sleeping around with dudes.

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