MYFO Editorial: NHL.com’s Web Shop Sucks Ass

I try not to take anything seriously on this site, as anyone who reads my work can probably guess. I rely on calling people cock knockers, knob gobblers, and dicksnuggler is about to make a grand debut. But after the jump, I do my best to be a “journalist” and investigate a problem one of our readers had with NHL.com’s webshop. Follow me as I take you on a tour of poor product planning, horrific customer service, and a lot of hatred spewing from my keyboard.

A few weeks ago, I got an e-mail from commenter wraparoundcurl complaining that she had ordered a Roberto Luongo jersey from NHL.com’s shop and it was taking forever.  She had asked back in December where to find one and I sent her where I find all my cheap shit no one wants: Ebay. I mean, it’s Luongo. He’s been fucking up my fantasy team all year, but in the same breath, he’s a fairly big star, and there’s got to be a couple jerseys out there for sale with his name on them, right?

Well, apparently not. After EBay failed, she went to NHL’s online shop. She found out that to get a jersey with anyone’s name on it, you have to special order a jersey and have it customized to that player’s name and number.

Now, wait a second. There’s a couple problems here. First of all, this is a fairly well-known star. He was voted starting goalie for the All-Star team, for Christ’s sake. I can see if some rookie that doesn’t get a lot of ice time doesn’t have pre-made jerseys. But this guy’s pretty far up there on the ladder. Furthermore, you’re telling me they don’t have Sidney Crosby jerseys made up somewhere? You have to drop another 40 bucks to get it customized with a name and number? Do you think the NFL would ever try that? “You can get a Brady jersey, but you have to buy the $100 Patriots jersey, then $40 to get the name and number attached.” But she was a trooper and plunked down the money. It took 5 weeks, and came in the wrong size. After requesting a return pack and re-ordering, she was told it would take 8-12 weeks. That places the jersey in her hands sometime in March. MARCH. Fuck that noise.

So after hearing the plight of one of our readers, I did what anyone who helps edit a third-rate hockey website would do. I put on my investigative journalism hat and started pitching a hissy fit.

I started with the web feedback form explaining the situation, complete with order number. No response after a week. I tried the customer service hotline. That was where the fun began. Despite it being 3:00 on a Friday, there were no supervisors available. I was told the Order would take 7-11 weeks, and there was no reason that the customer service staff could give me for the delay.

I called the next Tuesday and finally got to a supervisor, who told me in no uncertain terms that the vendor does not stock numbered or named jerseys because of “cost efficiency”. To this point, out of the five people I had spoken to at the customer service call center, I’m 90% positive none of them could name three hockey players, even if I spotted them Gretzky. All of them mispronounced both Luongo’s name and the team name Canucks.

Now, I understand the basics of economics. I’m a fairly smart guy. I have a couple University degrees, although admittedly, there’s in social sciences, and not math. However, when even the supervisor of the call center can’t speak intelligently about the problem that is happening, that tells me there’s an issue. I was flatly refused when I asked to speak with someone at the vendor for a good reason why named stars don’t have jerseys stocked somewhere. I was told, and I quote, “There is no further information I can give you. It’s just not something we do.”

This is supposedly a national organization with a multi-million dollar TV contract, endorsements,  and players making more money in a year than most of us will see in five. The fact that when a fan wants to plunk down money to buy a jersey gets this much hassle, where it takes four months just to get a jersey six weeks before the season ends, is insanity.

After multiple e-mails with no response, I am following through with the only threat I could muster. There’s a couple thousand (read: 4, including my Mom, who refreshes all the pages a couple times to make things look good) readers that come to this site on a daily basis. Give a giant FUCK YOU to NHL.com and their online shop. Go to your local Champs, Fan-Attic, or whatever else to get your gear. Pirate it off EBay if you can. Get it from a flea market. If the NHL is going to treat its customers this badly, and give such fucking lousy customer service when there’s a product issue, stick it up their ass.

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16 Comments

  1. We’re third-rate now? Did we pay someone off?

  2. Could you ask your Mom to refresh a few times on my posts? My mom only goes online for porn and stock quotes.

  3. To be fair, I was just going for the cheap joke.

    My mom’s an alcoholic that has no idea how to use the internet that doesn’t involve Yahoo Spades.

  4. My mom’s an alcoholic …

    Marry me.

  5. Assuming you’re not Scott Gomez, ok.

  6. holy shit, man. That is crap. Although that bit about having to get teh customized jeserys thing is odd. I thought they had it set up so you could only order the “official” number (like if you wanted a #16 Leafs jersey, it’s Tucker and no other name, for example.) Meh., I haven’t done much online buying of hockey stuff, so many I won’t do it that much.

  7. Justice motherfuckers! Well sorta. I did manage to get a 30 dollar shirt out of it all. Their attempts to make amends. Then I canceled the pending order today.

  8. @domi:
    You can do that as well. You can essentially get anything on the back. But as for the players, they have to make it for you. Funny story, my friend ordered an Avs home jersey (customized) they sent him the fucking away jersey. He decided to hang on to it, because he knew all the shit I have gone through.

  9. Porn quotes! I love you, Costanza!

  10. Question: If stores like SportChek and Champs have ready made player jerseys themselves is it really that much of hindrance to their ‘cost efficiency’ to keep some of them in inventory for their online store? I’m pretty certain that the player jerseys are the highest sellers because I certainly don’t go to the NHL store to look for team bar stools.

    wraparoundcurl, I highly recommend River City Sports. I live in Canada and my order came in about a week. And it was the right order!

  11. @Sherry:
    Ya, I looked at their site. They have great stuff. 12 bucks for shipping is steep for me. I ended up getting the jersey from Ice Jerseys. Which should be arriving tomorrow. Woot.

  12. Yeah, I missed my nephew’s October birthday and had to gift him at Christmas because of waiting for a custom jersey from NHL.com. While I understand they don’t have his last name in stock, they couldn’t dig up a New York RANGERS blue jersey? Not the third Liberty jersey, a blueshirt. Seriously, THAT’s what they told me. NO blue jersey. Luckily, family-run Cosby’s had it done, correctly, in a week.

    Don’t get me started on the drab NHL store in midtown.

  13. And they wonder why the NHL trails behind every other major sport. Brilliant!

  14. I will never buy anything from that site. THe first time I ever purchased anything was a customized jersey. It was one size too big and not knowing that they do not allow returns for customized jerseys even if they are the wrong size is quite frustrating.

    I too emailed and called and they said they would do nothing about it and I am stuck with the Jersey.

    So that was my first time and last time I will ever go to their website.

  15. […] want the seats? Take them. I want the Luongo jersey […]

  16. That’s pretty bad. Did you follow up with anyone from the NHL office? I won’t be supporting the NHL online shop til I hear about some improvement. And a change to their ludicrous “pay for the extra lettering” policy.


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