Sexiness Icon Brent Burns is having himself a breakthrough season for the Minnesota Wild (and with the ladies, of course). But something was missing; something that defined him not only as a player, but as a man. Well, loyal readers of MYFO, over the past week, Brent Burns has accomplished that feat: he’s got himself a signature move:
I call it “The Frank Costanza.” The reason? Because he “stops short”, of course. After the jump, video evidence of “the move”.
For starters, I suppose for those of you out there in Internetland who have no idea what I’m talking about (all two of you), below is what provided me the inspiration for the name of Brent Burns’ move:
As you can plainly see, you need grace, timing and wit to pull-off such a spectacular move. On second thought, perhaps you need a total lack of said qualities. Huh. Well, either way, let’s take a look at Burns’ efforts:
Exhibit No. 1: MYFO co-conspirator LeNoceur highlighted this goal in a post earlier this week, but it certainly warrants another look. This is Burns completely schooling Manny Legace last Sunday night in the Wild’s 2-1 shootout victory over the Blues.
Only someone as studly as Brent Burns could whip out such a provocative move at such a pressure-filled moment. The guy is as cool as a cucumber, some would say. A moron, yes, but some would say that.
Exhibit No. 2: Now, Brent Burns would never want to be considered a one-trick pony, so there are subtle variations to “the move”. Like his women, Brent likes to keep the goalies guessing. Here’s Brent’s shootout goal on Roberto Luongo from last night’s 5-4 victory over the Canucks (as well as Mikko Koivu’s game-winner, as an added bonus).
As you can see, it is a bit different but the essence of the move is the same. He stops short and the goalies are left powerless under his spell. This guy certainly knows how to work his Mojo. All we can do is sit back and marvel at how titillating Brent Burns can be when he chooses to let it all hang out.
In keeping with the Seinfeld theme, anyone who tries to steal Burns’ move will from that point forward be referred to by me as “The Assman”. I just hope Brent Burns never has the uncomfortable experience of accidentally sitting on a Fusilli Jacques. That could be ugly. And painful.
Bonus MYFO: Not to be left out, teammate Stephane Veilleux had a pretty goal himself last night. No word on whether he will choose to name his move or not. You can find video of that goal here, as NHL.com makes it very difficult to embed their videos. I really wanted four videos in this post, but oh well.