Brent Burns Better Not Ever Try This Move On Estelle Costanza

Frank & Estelle

Sexiness Icon Brent Burns is having himself a breakthrough season for the Minnesota Wild (and with the ladies, of course). But something was missing; something that defined him not only as a player, but as a man. Well, loyal readers of MYFO, over the past week, Brent Burns has accomplished that feat: he’s got himself a signature move:

I call it “The Frank Costanza.” The reason? Because he “stops short”, of course.  After the jump, video evidence of “the move”.

For starters, I suppose for those of you out there in Internetland who have no idea what I’m talking about (all two of you), below is what provided me the inspiration for the name of Brent Burns’ move:

As you can plainly see, you need grace, timing and wit to pull-off such a spectacular move. On second thought, perhaps you need a total lack of said qualities. Huh. Well, either way, let’s take a look at Burns’ efforts:

Exhibit No. 1: MYFO co-conspirator LeNoceur highlighted this goal in a post earlier this week, but it certainly warrants another look. This is Burns completely schooling Manny Legace last Sunday night in the Wild’s 2-1 shootout victory over the Blues.

Only someone as studly as Brent Burns could whip out such a provocative move at such a pressure-filled moment. The guy is as cool as a cucumber, some would say. A moron, yes, but some would say that.

Exhibit No. 2: Now, Brent Burns would never want to be considered a one-trick pony, so there are subtle variations to “the move”. Like his women, Brent likes to keep the goalies guessing. Here’s Brent’s shootout goal on Roberto Luongo from last night’s 5-4 victory over the Canucks (as well as Mikko Koivu’s game-winner, as an added bonus).

As you can see, it is a bit different but the essence of the move is the same. He stops short and the goalies are left powerless under his spell. This guy certainly knows how to work his Mojo. All we can do is sit back and marvel at how titillating Brent Burns can be when he chooses to let it all hang out.

In keeping with the Seinfeld theme, anyone who tries to steal Burns’ move will from that point forward be referred to by me as “The Assman”. I just hope Brent Burns never has the uncomfortable experience of accidentally sitting on a Fusilli Jacques. That could be ugly. And painful.

Bonus MYFO: Not to be left out, teammate Stephane Veilleux had a pretty goal himself last night. No word on whether he will choose to name his move or not. You can find video of that goal here, as NHL.com makes it very difficult to embed their videos. I really wanted four videos in this post, but oh well.

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14 Comments

  1. The NHL alienating fans by making things needlessly difficult? That’s un-possible!

  2. Nooooo Luongo!

  3. when is he going to break out “le Tirgre”?

  4. Damn it, I though I WAS this year’s Petteri Nummilen!

  5. According to Jacques Lemaire’s system, you are slated for the 2009-2010 season.

  6. Nikolai Khabibulin thinks Ryan Shannon should be the Assman.

  7. You’re going to think I’m joking, but I really am not. I will pay you $1,000 to stop writing about the Wild. NO FUCKING JOKE. I am that annoyed by you. Stop for 30 days. On March 17 post your address (a P.O. box if you’re worried about your I.D.) and I will mail you the check. You can post my personal info if you like at that point when you get the check. I am not kidding. Just stop being a douchebag for 30 days and you get $1,000. Can you do it? The ball is in your court.

  8. Quick question. Have you ever played hockey? If yes, what was the highest level you played at? Don’t be scared, just answer it, I promise I won’t use it against you. I love you.

  9. Oh yeah, ahhh, master of my domain….or something.

  10. Here’s an idea, Negro Observer. Go fuck yourself. To answer your question, no, I have never played organized hockey. I am not sure what that has to do with anything, but according to your logic, in order to write about something you need to have done it at some point.

    My question for you is: can you provide me a link to your blog about posting moronic comments?

    Here’s an idea. Stop reading us if you don’t like the blog. It’s as simple as that.

    By the way, I would never take a personal check from someone like you. Straight cash, homey.

  11. If you’ll send me $10, I promise not to write anything about the Blue Jackets.

  12. Give me some money and I’ll never talk about the Predators and their ownership again.

    I need about tree fitty.

  13. $1,500

    Oh, and I think it’s ok that you didn’t play hockey. I told you I wouldn’t hold it against you. I think you would be annoying as shit whether you played the game or not.

  14. So this is where it all began. (Sorry, late to the party.) What a jack off Negro Observer is. Just asking if you’ve played or not says it all. I’d like to see a blog on the Wild, the ‘Jackets, and Nashville’s ownership, all in one. That is worth way more than $1360.


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