TWW: The Hand of Zed Edition

Hand on top

For this edition of the Weekly Whoring, we turn our attention to NHL.com, the website that Gary Bettman personally codes the html for when he’s not busy luring Canuckistanian teams to Fort Wayne. For the most part, NHL.com is marginally helpful when it comes to finding videos of sick goals, stats of players not deemed important enough to be tracked by ESPN.com, and ridiculous new phrases that won’t catch on (they referred to the Mighty Zendo Chara as “Tenacious Z” the other day. I kid you not.)

But oh, what of the Glorious Frozen Moment?

The Frozen Moment showcases the best in hockey photography from the folks at Getty Images in such a way that it seems the league is taking credit for their awesomeness. I have to admit, there is many a picture that’s worthy of showcasing (WHEE!), but all in all, it seems to be a clever way to show the pulse of the league without allowing the league’s web writers to screw it up with stupid nicknames. For example, here’s the league’s effort to show that we are all pulling for the speedy recovery of the Panthers’ Richard Zednik.

Get Well Soon!

That’s sweet. By our count, Zednik will be restored to full health because of 5 Best Wishes, 2 Get Well Soons, a Good Luck, and a guy name Tyler who thinks he’ll be back in time for the playoffs. Frankly, Florida, that’s not going to cut it. If you want this man to live, you’re going to have to try harder than that.

MYFO does just that, below:

Hextall454: Dude, this Sharpie’s nearly out of ink. Is it cool if I sign with this red one?

Weed Against Speed: Dude, have a kick-ass summer! Good luck with the chicks! Stay cool! By the way, I’m writing on your crack, does it tickle?

LeNoceur:Hope those wacky doctors are keeping you in stitches! LOL! You’ll be pinching nurses’ asses in no time!

Reasonable Doubt: My skate was here ——-> Signed, Olli

Raskolnikov: This is how I become a badass? – Marty Havlat

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7 Comments

  1. Dude, you still owe me 5 bucks! Have a killer summer!

  2. This could have been worse. You could have injured your jerking off hand. LOLZ. Get well and enjoy watching Barely Legal Ass Slut 15!

  3. @wraparoundcurl: Oh man, any excuse to bring back the hockey themed pornos (in the comments):http://meltyourfaceoff.net/2008/01/17/riding-the-pine-with-myfo/

    bloody hell, that was awesome

  4. Is there any chance that you’ll just shut the fuck up?

  5. Dude, you’re in Kentucky. You forfeit all right to criticize anyone…unless we do an inbreeding post. Then feel free.

  6. ummm…I just googled “Negro observer” and the first thing to pop up was lyrics from Butthole Surfers. You can make of that what you will.

  7. Reasonable Doubt FTW.

    Also, if there is a post on Deliverance.


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