It Went Better Than My First Date

Lidstrom: Did you get the slumpbuster?

Datsyuk: He’s in its apartment right now. I fixed everything since Henrik’s been assigned elsewhere. Picked a Chinese-Latvian restaurant, where it had the Moo Shu Karbonade. Then I guided them towards a showing of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Slumpy downed 5 shots of Jack Daniels and 2 Cosmos. This is a fucking tap-in.

Lidstrom: That’s too complicated for Homer.

Inside

Holmstom: So, um, here we are. Just us two. No one else.

Er, um …

Looks at cheat sheet

Love the music.

Is this Boy George?

I love what you’ve done with the place. Scarface and Hannah Montana posters, Michigan and Ohio State banners, and pink lace interwoven with barbed wire painted on the walls. Very, um, disjointed.  Nice tattoos, by the way.  A swastika and a peace sign?  

Looks at cheat sheet again

Um, I had a great time tonight. What’s with the googly eyes? I …

Eats cheat sheet

Um, so, yeah, great …

 

priscilla.jpg

Turco: Are you gonna make out with me or not?

Holmstrom: Uh, yeah. How does that go? I put my finger down my throat because coach wants me to lose weight …

Turco: Stop making fun of me! I’m not fat all the time. Stop trying to define me! I’m Karen Carpenter and Keith Tkachunk!

Holmstrom: Or do I take this tooth brush and scrub Coach Bowman’s kitchen floor?

Turco: Don’t get me started on my teeth! I have beautiful choppers! Until I want to bench press to impress grandma! I’m BEAUTIFUL, DAMMIT!

Slaps Holmstrom

Holmstrom: Ohhhhh, that’s how you make out.

Slaps Turco

Turco: I, I, I can’t believe you just did that to me. YOU HIT ME!! YOU STUPID OAF!

Holmstrom: But, but, I thought …

Turco: I’M ONLY INTO S&M ON EVERY OTHER SATURDAY!! AND TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY!! TODAY IS PRINCESS MARTY DAY, WHERE I’M AM THE RULEMAKER! HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW THAT?

Holmstrom: Well, I, um …

Turco: GET OUT OF HERE!!

Holmstrom: I would, but …

Turco: BUT WHAT?

Holmstrom: I’ve forgotten how to stand up.

Datsyuk: /smacks head

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