Random Internet Blog Trade Rumors: Feeling Stabby

This edition of Random Internet Blog Trade Rumors is brought to you by our friend Stabby up there. Isn’t he cute?

Leading off the rumors this week is the rumor that the Stars are chasing after everyone’s favorite slicing and dicing captain, Olli Jokinen. The Stars seem to be looking to dole out half their roster and future draft picks for the new and improved O.J. (See what I did there?) The Hockey News says that the Stars are willing to part with James Neal, Niklas Grossman, Ivan Vishnevsky, and Phillippe Boucher, and adding in a first round pick. This guy went to Buffalo, got bored, did a cartwheel, and nearly cut his teammate’s head off. What do you think he’s going to do in Dallas, the Boringest Town In America Unless You Play for the Cowboys?

Good news, Wings fans! I know your season has sucked so far, and you’re not going to make the playoffs, but look! Sergei Federov wants to come back! He’s willing to leave his first place Blue Jackets team to rejoin your team and strive to at least make the 8-seed.*

This last one is not an internet blog rumor, but rather a local paper rumor. Now that the Lightning have been sold, everyone’s waiting to see if the new owner, Oren Koules (who I am a huge fan of), is going to pony up payroll or start cutting people (pun intended). The first one on the chopping block (heh) is Dan Boyle. Now, if Boyle gets traded, it wouldn’t be the first time he’s gotten cut out of the picture (heh) this year. Speculation is that he’s about to go to the Stars. Boyle and Jokinen on the same team….RUN DANNY! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*=President’s Day may also count as Opposite Day

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2 Comments

  1. *insert joke about Olli and ginsu knives here*

  2. Nice text!, brother


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