Ovie’s First Date

Ovie: Honey, I tolds you!! I text, “I hits these posts in honor of Brendan Haywood free throws”, and I ring-ding-donged them like Dr. Dre!!

Katja: Oh Sasha, you were glorious out there, fighting those vicious fishermen with caviar girlfriends. I’ve never been prouder of you.

Ovie: Next timez I knock three players helmets off to give mad propz to Agent Zero’s Halo team!

Katja: Sasha, what do you want to do now?

Ovie: Well, why don’ts we go backs to my place for role-play?

Katja: Oh, Alex, you little red devil!

*Back at the Ovie Pad*


Katja: Um, this isn’t exactly …

Ovie: Hold on, Katja. Watch me destroy this kidney shot this chump! HE SQUIRTING BLOOD LIKE ZED!

*Katja has removed Ovie’s headphones*

Katja: Alex, I want you inside me.

Ovie: You has Segway shop and Hair Cuttery? What they charge? Can I bringz Greeny too?

Katja: No, Alex, I just think we are ready to take our relationship one step further.

Ovie: I understands. I iz getting closer to the edge AND I’M ABOUT TO BREAK!!!! NEVER TURN OFF A RUSSIAN MAN’S PC!!!


*Ovie flings headphones at ground, causing Katja’s clothes fly off, leaving only her skivvies*

AHHHHH!!!!! GIRLY PARTS! I, I has to go …

Katja: Sasha, what’s wrong?

Ovie: You has Ural Mountains on your chest. I was left for dead there when I was 13!!!! I no want to be outlaw for your love, I just wants to take yous to dance!

*Ovie has locked himself in his room*

Katja: Well, will you call me? I’m leaving for Moscow soon. School’s starting again.

Ovie: Yes, yes, I calls sometime. But right now my pantz is highsticking.

Assist to the NHL Fanhouse for the picture



  1. Rask, you play a blood elf rogue don’t you?

  2. I have never played WoW. That game would get boring really quickly for me.

    Earthbound, on the other hand …

  3. *Ovie flings headphones at ground, causing Katja’s clothes fly off, leaving only her skivvies*

    awesome. Ovie just needed to yell out “BOOM HEADSHOT!!” and it would have been just glorious.

  4. I like to play Wow. Pwn noobz, curse at the boys and whatnot.

  5. Earthbound > *

    That is all.

  6. Oh my god, puck, I must shoot.

  7. I have no idea what the hell just happened.

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