Since my colleague Weed is still working mightily to restrain himself from writing about the Wild to earn some handy cash, I’m picking up the torch today. The Wild’s big trade deadline move came in the form of Chris Simon. Yes, the same Chris Simon who received the longest suspension in NHL history earlier this year. The same Simon who many people believe shouldn’t be allowed to put on an NHL sweater ever again after having been suspended seven times, for everything from attempted murder to racial slurs.
Wild fandom is, apparently, underwhelmed. As Nick in New York put it over at Hitting the Post, “some Wild fans are a little tweaked about this.” Like commenter Kirsten, who proclaimed herself “ready to choke a bitch” over the acquisition. Over at her own Land of Lakes and Hockey, Kirsten prays to Baby Hockey Jesus to “make Chris Simon go away.” (Perhaps Sidney will send St. Georges to slay this particular dragon.)
My question to Wild fans: since when have you had standards?
This is the same fanbase, remember, that celebrates Derek Boogaard teaching kids how to fight. The same fanbase who ho-hummed the acquisition of noted roider and all-around asshole Sean Hill. The same fanbase that lovingly embraces the soul-sucking, goalless style of hockey that Jacques Lemaire brought with him from New Jersey–the only system that allows useless pieces of meat like Todd Fedoruk and Keith Carney to stay in the league (as compatriot Reasonable Doubt noted, perhaps Fedoruk, Simon and Boogaard can combine to form the “Einstein line”).
Really, what’s a little Chris Simon? Seems like he would fit right in.
2 Comments
Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI
Melt Your Face-Off 
Yeah, Boogaard is a good fighter, and he does have the fighting camp for kids in the offseason. The camp is good because it teaches kids who will get into hockey fights how to handle them. But boogaard didn’t get suspended for 25 games for swinging sticks at people or stomping on their leg. It’s a matter of scale, sure, but there is a definite difference between the 8-times-suspended Simon and good-fighter/hockey-fighting-coach Boogaard.
And Sean Hill? I think that was a pretty good pickup, but I don’t have center ice this year and I’m living in Mass so I can’t tell if he’s good or not. I think he’s a more reasonable comparison to Simon, because of the ‘roids.
No money will be forthcoming. Not only did he alreday write about the Wild, he also responded with this little tidbit when I offered him the deal:
By the way, I would never take a personal check from someone like you.
Ok, fine. You don’t accept my offer. Maybe we can do business some other time, I’m guessing no since you seem unwilling to take my check.
Good day, Sir.