Since my colleague Weed is still working mightily to restrain himself from writing about the Wild to earn some handy cash, I’m picking up the torch today. The Wild’s big trade deadline move came in the form of Chris Simon. Yes, the same Chris Simon who received the longest suspension in NHL history earlier this year. The same Simon who many people believe shouldn’t be allowed to put on an NHL sweater ever again after having been suspended seven times, for everything from attempted murder to racial slurs.
Wild fandom is, apparently, underwhelmed. As Nick in New York put it over at Hitting the Post, “some Wild fans are a little tweaked about this.” Like commenter Kirsten, who proclaimed herself “ready to choke a bitch” over the acquisition. Over at her own Land of Lakes and Hockey, Kirsten prays to Baby Hockey Jesus to “make Chris Simon go away.” (Perhaps Sidney will send St. Georges to slay this particular dragon.)
My question to Wild fans: since when have you had standards?
This is the same fanbase, remember, that celebrates Derek Boogaard teaching kids how to fight. The same fanbase who ho-hummed the acquisition of noted roider and all-around asshole Sean Hill. The same fanbase that lovingly embraces the soul-sucking, goalless style of hockey that Jacques Lemaire brought with him from New Jersey–the only system that allows useless pieces of meat like Todd Fedoruk and Keith Carney to stay in the league (as compatriot Reasonable Doubt noted, perhaps Fedoruk, Simon and Boogaard can combine to form the “Einstein line”).
Really, what’s a little Chris Simon? Seems like he would fit right in.