Our God is an Awesome God

So the Penguins deal away Colby Armstrong for Marian Hossa. Hossa is either acclaimed and reviled, depending on who you talk to. But universally, everyone wanted to see how he’d do on a line with Our Lord and Savior, Sidney Crosby.


No one is equal to Hockey Jesus. Now look what you’ve done. He had to smite down your bright and shiny new toy. Not only did you bring in this heathen, but you dealt away one of his Apostles. Armstrong, Crosby’s roommate on road trips, was taken away from The Kid, and is now sentenced to languish in limbo with the Thrashers.

And in return, you got what? A pissed off forward who won’t be happy in Pittsburgh and will bolt at the end of the year. What’s more, he fucked up his leg a few minutes into his debut.

To add to the assraping of karma, ConkBlock got lit up by the Bruins, and got yanked early on in the game. Then Jaaaarrrrkoooooo Ruuuuuutuuuuuuu got bitchslapped by a rookie late in the game. A rookie!

I hope you’re happy with yourselves, Penguins fans. Your team has just brought down the wrath of the gates of hell. Good luck.



  1. I was at that game. It was AWESOME. And that’s not just any rookie, that’s Milan “Luch” Lucic. Whatta guy!

  2. if only the REAL Bible were written like this, I think more people would read it

  3. Reasonable, have you been listening to your Christian music compilation CD’s too much again? Because if your next post is entitled “Come, Now is the Time for Worship” I’m going to start worrying about you.

  4. I think he’s going to go Old Skool with a little “Shall We Gather at the River.”

  5. Or for Av fans:

    Com, Now is the Time to Wojtek.

  6. Ye, verily, go with me and ye shall find peace, cock knockers.

  7. So Crosby is Hockey Jesus and Avery is Hockey Satan, right?
    Or is Avery Hockey Judas? My mythology is fuzzy.

  8. @wraparoundcurl: I thin Avery may be Hockey Herod: http://www.aboutbibleprophecy.com/p186.htm (I had to look that up)

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