Pierre McGuire Under Glass

Pierre’s commentary from the March 2, 2008 game between the Rangers and Flyers …

Jagr’s ready to play, Edzo. He’s been on a valium IV since six in the morning.

Doc, Tom Renney is screaming at his team right now. “Get the puck in deep! Get the puck in deep!”

WHOA!!! That clearing attempt from Rosival almost hit me!

Renney’s telling Rosival that he’s an awful shot.

Guys, it’s really intense down here! I don’t think the Rangers and Flyers like each other!

Jesse Boulerice just complemented Sean Avery on his mascara. Personally, I think he’s wearing too much.

Henrik Lundqvist is eying his next piece of ass in the crowd right now.

WHOA! These pucks go quickly!

Orr and Boulerice had a nice fight there, but Chris Pronger would’ve taken ’em both out. I was his first coach, you know. Call me Chris!

John Stevens just told his players to get the puck in deep, guys.

And Jeff Carter nearly hit me in the head with a clearing attempt!

This KFC sure hits the spot. Eleven herbs and spices and boiled in stuff that’ll actually float to the top of the Hudson!

Man, have we gone 6 minutes without a break? My wife’s jealous of this game.

I love the intense intensity of this intensity, guys!

Oh man, Rosival’s going to be blaming himself for the third goal when he sees the replay, guys.  Even though it’s Malik’s fault.

Edzo, when are you going to stop dipping your head in Dapper Dan and admit that you’re balding?  Just shave it off!  We can be twins!  Except I’ll be the handsome one!

Sean Avery loves Broadway so much, he reenacted the final scene of Madame Butterfly!

Jeff Carter’s second goal of the day ties him with my number of Stanley Cup Rings!  We’re equals!

Overtime favors the Rangers because the Flyers have just started to get tired, while Jagr’s been lackadaisical and disinterested since the opening faceoff.

Marty Biron’s holier than you, Stephen Valiquette.

As we end this week’s telecast, I’d like to apologize to Mike Milbury for not saying “So long”.  Which makes me like Roberto Luongo.

Advertisements

3 Comments

  1. I always figured Avery would reenact Guys and Dolls. Or something more gay. Like Cabaret. Avery just loves Liza.

  2. @wraparoundcurl: I always thought of him as a Carousel kins of guy. Maybe the King and I? But Guys and Dolls cracks me up.

    Overtime favors the Rangers because the Flyers have just started to get tired, while Jagr’s been lackadaisical and disinterested since the opening faceoff.

    ^this is why I come here–nice snark!

  3. If Avery had kissed Jagr, I’d have referenced Guys and Dolls.


Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s