After weeks of breathless Peter Forsberg updates–he’s going to Philly! No, Nashville! No, he’s staying retired! But wait!–you would think the entire hockey media would take a collective break. Maybe a couple weeks without typing “Foppa,” two weeks without running a photo of his chiseled Swedish face.
Alas, it seems we are doomed to be treated to more breathless updates. Sure, he’s signed with Colorado. But will he play tonight? Or won’t he? He’s still undecided. *Coughattentionwhorecough*.
Other key questions the hockey media hope Forsberg (as a form of protest, I am refusing to type “Foppa.” Shit!) addresses soon:
- Paper or plastic?
- Carryout or delivery?
- Surstromming or Janssons frestelse?
Come on. Sylvain Lefebvre wouldn’t dick around the people of Colorado like this. (Patrick Roy would, but it would be OK, because he’s Patrick Roy.) Can we just fast-forward to the part where Laertes stabs him with the poisoned sword? No, wait, there’s that long-ass speech. Enter Fortinbras!
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Melt Your Face-Off 
Shakespeare with MYFO? I like, I likey!
Put Forsberg, Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern on a line together, they’ll tear shit up. You watch.
@the legend of Vincent Tremblay: Rosencrantz isn’t that hot in the corners, and Guildenstern is a bit too much of a riverboat gambler for my tastes. You’d be better off using Prospero and Caliban–the chemistry may be a bit off, but they work their zones well
@Loser Domi:
I would have gone with Vladimir and Estragon, but LeNoceur chose The Bard over Beckett. Thanks for botching the setup, Noc.