You know who I think should shut up, fuckhead?

“Hard to say, [but]…Sean Avery.”

You. Fucking. Jackbag.

That’s right, Ribby. I’m going to knock your cock off. I’m willing to be….altogether now…a COCK KNOCKER just to beat your pansy ass into the ground. You just wait until I see you on the ice again, douchenozzle. I am going to take your Zorro-loving ass and give you the Smyth Treatment. Who in the green fuck do you think you are?


I am the one who has motivated my team, MY New York Rangers, to a month-long hot streak! We haven’t lost in regulation since I punched Malik in the fucking face. Once that fucktard got put in his place, we started winning again. And now we’re going to get into the playoffs. And when we get to the finals,I hope I see your jizzguzzling ass there. You may even get there now that you have Brad Richards saving your fucking second line from obscurity.

You know who placates their wives in fucking SI articles? KNOB GOBBLERS. You need to fucking put your wife out there every two seconds because you’re a dick sucker! A peter puffer! A cum dumpster! We all know she’s a beard, jocksniffer! She’s the beard you apparently can’t fucking grow, you fucking carbuncle squeezer!

After I melt your face off (see what I did there, asslickers?), I’m going to take that cunt of a wife and give her a proper deep-dicking, too.

Then you can tell me who needs to shut up.

I’ll give you credit for Jay-Z, though. He does have creatively titled albums.



  1. Every team needs a Sean Avery.

  2. LOL. Awesome.

  3. Glorious.

  4. Sean Avery’s postings here make my day.

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