Colorado is full of old people

We made a few jokes about the Colorado Rockies getting the band back together at the trading deadline, bringing back Foote and Forsberg just as Sakic was coming back. Patrick Roy is still available, by the way.

Unfortunately, the Rockies management didn’t think things through. Shuffleboard and cribbage is fine for the old folks, but hockey’s a bit more demanding.

It’s been a grand total of two weeks since the trade deadline. Since then, the Rockies have done pretty damn good for themselves. The catch to that, of course, is that it was a homestand against the Pacific Division. Beating the Canucks, Ducks, and Kings at home ain’t exactly sweeping your way through the playoffs.

However, as they played the Stars on Saturday night, they won, but something started to happen.

Adam Foote busted up his hip.

Forsberg pulled his groin (/dickjoke).

Sakic may or may not have wandered off into the night looking for his lost World War I buddies.

Andrew Burnette has fallen and he can’t get up.

Ian LaPierre has run out of nitro pills, and may be subject to a heart murmur in the near future.

This combined with Jose Theodore’s scorching case of herpes c/o Paris Hilton and the Rockies are in trouble.

What other injuries are going to be afflicting America’s Least Favorite Team?



  1. Upon returning to the lineup, my guess is Ryan Smyth is going to come down with a case of pinkeye. Or possibly a stye infection.

  2. My guess is shingles. Or possibly lumbago.

  3. Who’s going to be waiting for Wilford Brimley’s diabeetus supplies? Or perhaps a fight breaks out over shuffleboard?

  4. Who’s next for wrist injury for shuffling decks of cards for bridge tournaments?

  5. Sorry, but none of those players are on the Devils.


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