Peter Stastny Is Still Fucking Pissed at Those Communist Bastards

Commie Killer

Peter Stastny is an NHL Hall of Famer. He had a stellar career with the Nordiques, Devils and Blues, finishing with 450 goals and more than 1,200 points in less than 1,000 games. Stastny also was one of the first players (and the first major star) to defect from Communist Europe to play in North America.

For you youngsters out there, Communism once filled the role that “islamofascism” now plays in the world; i.e., overhyped threat to goodness, democracy and apple pie, headed by cartoonish egomaniacs and borderline psychotic thugs who hate our way of life, particularly all the fun parts like making lots of money and taking sarcastic verbal potshots at your own government.

For most of us, Communism is pretty much a punchline at this point. But not for Peter Stastny. Nope, Peter still wants to send all those Commie bastards straight to the Hell in which their black atheist hearts refuse to believe.


Since his retirement from the NHL, Stastny has had a productive life. He sired two sons (Paul and Yan) who have embarked on their own NHL careers–both, coincidentally, for franchises their father played for (Colorado for Paul, St. Louis for Yan). He has also served the last few years as a member of the European Parliament, representing his native Slovakia. But all is not as rosy as it seems.

It was recently revealed that Juraj Siroky, the president of the Slovakian Ice Hockey Federation, was in his younger days an informant for the STB, the former Czechoslovakia’s version of the KGB (think James Bond bad guys, but with cheap suits and crappy cigarettes). Siroky is also the owner of the hockey team Peter played for back in the homeland–but he won’t be much longer, if Stastny has anything to say about it.

And boy, does he.

Stastny penned an “open letter” to everyone he could find an address for that bears some relationship to the game of hockey, including Gary Bettman, International Olympic Committee chief Jacques Rogge, and the New York Islanders Ice Girls. In his letter, he details the dastardly crimes of “Juraj the Pinko”:

  • On his application to join the STB, Juraj said that he wanted to fight against “internal and external enemies of the state.” Well, external enemies are one thing, but some of those “internal” enemies just might have included defectors and their families.
  • Juraj once reported on his own mother for writing to relatives in the U.S.
  • He was constantly lying to the media and public about his past.

(There is no truth to the rumor that the Bush Administration immediately offered Juraj a job with the Department of Homeland Security.)

“Better dead than Red,” Stastny summed up, before delivering his closing ultimatum: unless Siroky resigns from all his posts in Slovakian hockey “within 3 months period from today,” Stastny will withdraw from the Slovakian Hockey Hall of Fame, and demand that his retired jersey be pulled down from the rafters at Slovan Bratislava stadium.

Just because a guy was a ratfink Commie spy, should he be shunned from polite society? Should bearing partial responsibility for the jailing and abuse of your fellow countrymen be grounds for precluding your involvement in national affairs, especially ones as relatively inconsequential as sports?

If anyone is qualified to decide these thorny issues, it’s MYFO commenters. Let me know: do you support NHL Hall of Famer and defender of freedom Peter Stastny, or do you support the terrorists are you a radical commie sympathizer?

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4 Comments

  1. [...] Read the rest of this great post here [...]

  2. so tempted to make a Soviet Russia joke, but he was from Czechoslovakia…DAMMIT!

  3. In the interest of fair play/devils’s advocacy, I side with the pinkos.

  4. Also I think Paul Stansny is a helluva player.


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