Andrew Cogliano: Peep Show Mop Boy

Mop Boy string_mop.jpg

Damn. I thought when I made the big time I could finally stop cleaning up other people’s messes. This is three games in a row, now. It’s getting fucking ridiculous. You would think, with a three-zip lead, these guys could just buckle down and play some D for a couple periods, but no. They let the Blues–the Blues!–come back and score three.

Then they dicked around for almost the entire OT. Coach tapped my shoulder with 30 seconds left. “Yeah, yeah, I got it.” I’m having flashbacks, I tell you, to my old boss Louie at the Pleasure Palace in Ann Arbor. Man, the jobs you’ll work to get some extra spending cash in college. The free rentals were a nice perk, though.

But that’s enough. Let Sam Gagner take a turn already. Jeez. I’m not the only rookie on this team, you know. Or what about Smid? Him and his stupid jokes about girls from Bratislava. But old Andy has had enough, thanks. Next time you guys blow your load all over the place, you’re on your own.

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2 Comments

  1. JIZZMOPS FOR REAL!!!

  2. Have you ever wondered how much the average jizz mopper makes per hour?


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