It Really Is Always Sunny in SoCal

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It’s a Madhouse!

You are the PR director for the LA Kings. It’s been a tough season, and really the only thing your fans have to look forward to is the draft lottery (again). Yet, you still have a responsibility to churn out positive-sounding blog items on the team page. So what do you do?

Why, spin away like James Carville on a meth bender, of course. “COMPARED TO LAST YEAR: The Kings, in several categories, have surpassed totals from last season.”

Let’s see…in what areas have the Kings improved? Why, they upped their “Goals Against” total considerably, from 255 to 283(and counting). That includes nearly 30 more power play goals allowed. Great work, team! I do want to join the madness!

In every other statistical category cited, the Kings are worse or about the same. Except, of course, in the all-important “goalies played” category, where they tied an NHL record by suiting up seven netminders this season.

Two other teams have suited up seven goalies in a single season, with wildly varying result. The 1989-90 Quebec Nordiques, despite the presence of Baby Joe Sakic (and his 100+ points), Still Prime Peter Stastny and Old Guy LaFleur, were historically pathetic compared to the 2007-08 Kings, with a mere 31 points under the old scoring system. Even with the current Bettman Bonus Scoring System, they couldn’t possibly have topped 50; the Kings still have two chances to crack 70 points.

On the other hand, the 2002-03 St. Louis Blues amazingly finished with 99 points (thanks mostly to Al MacInnis). Considering that the two goalies of the seven who played the most for that team were Brent Johnson and Fred Brathwaite, that is little short of miraculous, even with the Bettman Bonus Points thrown in.

So cheer up, Kings fans. While you don’t have to worry about choking away a 3-1 first-round series lead to the Canucks, you aren’t an historic laughingstock, either. Besides, you could always win the Stamkos Sweepstakes. Eighty points could easily be in reach next season! Come for the sunshine, stay for the madness!

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