NHL Shop Subscribes to Bad MS Paint Weekly

Oilerscup 

I swear, I didn’t make this.

Give NHL credit for one thing: they’ve got an awesome trophy and they know it.  The grueling playoff drive, which will commence sometime next week, will award the league’s first team to win 16 games.  That, my friends, is no easy feat.  (It took the Kings 45 games to pull that off this year.)  No doubt, our eventual league champion is deserving of all the pomp and honor that comes with hoisting the Stanley Cup.

But what of the fans, man?  We work just as hard as they do.  WE have to go through the trouble to check the Interwebs to see if our team won last night.  WE have to pay an extra 8 bucks a month on our cable bill just so Versus can show Doc and Edzo poorly cover our team every other month.  WE have to walk around and pretend to know how exactly Patrick “Holy Crap it’s the Ghost of Heath Ledger” Thoresen entered our team’s lineup.*

* Seriously, we have no idea.  It’s like one day he showed up, and no one asked him to leave.

The NHL knows how hard you work as a fan, and because of this, they want to make sure you, too, can hoist Lord Stanley’s Cup.  Of course, by “hoist” we mean “purchase,” and by “Lord Stanley’s Cup” we mean “Stanley Cup-related swag.”  Close enough.

Thanks to NHL.com’s special Stanley Cup Shop, you can order precisely the replica accolades that you feel represent the effort you put forth for your team this season.  The big ticket item, of course, is a replica 2′ Stanley Cup (it comes with the white gloves!), but at $249.99, you probably could have, I don’t know, bought playoff ticket(s?) instead.  Besides, owning a replica Cup makes you the guy who bought a life-size R2-D2 when The Phantom Menace came out.  Awesome for about a minute, now you have to find a place in your condo to store the damn thing.

My personal favorite offering, however, is the Custom Cup Print that I’ve displayed above.  For a mere 30 bucks, they’re telling me I can have a photo of the Cup, proclaiming MY TEAM Stanley Cup Champs (regardless of finish)?!  And what’s more, they will Photoshop MY NAME onto the Cup itself?  You know, up top near the lip, where 1) every bottom lip of a player who drinks a six-pack of Molson out of the Cup will rest, and 2) where there hasn’t been room for engraving since the Ottawa teams of the early 20th century.

Hey NHL, where would my name go again?  (checks picture again)  Ah, got it.

(Note: we used the Oilers to commemorate their inability to make the playoffs, having been eliminated last night by losing to Calgary.  Get your credit cards ready, Kevin Lowe.  Webmasters are standing by.)

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4 Comments

  1. And what’s more, they will Photoshop MY NAME onto the Cup itself? You know[…] where there hasn’t been room for engraving since the Ottawa teams of the early 20th century.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHa….sens suck hahahaha
    /typical idiot Leafs fans

  2. The NHL doing a fine job of making this league an even bigger joke. Does even the NBA pull shit like this?

  3. Oh cool. NHL hired Perez Hilton to run their store.

  4. […] Blades?? fourth season of …http://www.echl.com/cgi-bin/mpublic.cgi?action=show_news&cat=1&id=14870NHL Shop Subscribes to Bad MS Paint WeeklyI swear, I didn??t make this. Give nhl credit for one thing: they??ve got an awesome trophy and they […]


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