Jordin Tootoo: Dropping Rhymes in Overtime

The Poetry Professor

Reporter: Jordin, you play such a high-energy style. How do you unwind after a tough game?

Tootoo: Poetry.

Reporter: Really? Who do you like to read? I’m a big Ted Hughes fan, myself.

Tootoo: Not read, my good man. Write. Here’s a little something I whipped up after Game 2:

A Sonnet Upon Spring
Born in Manitoba, raised First Nations;
Taught by dad to hunt, fish and skate,
And from opponents to engender hate;
I’m quite happy to knock your face in.
It’s Playoff time; we contend for the Cup
Of Lord Stanley, a man I never knew;
Against Detroit’s Wings of Red, not Blue:
The ultimate victor will hold it up.
Things don’t look so good now, I’m afraid;
But our youth will carry us to the end.
I hope that when I am as old as Chelly,
I won’t have to ply this checking trade;
My relaxed schedule will only portend
Reruns of Coed Confidential on the telly.

Or, how about this lovely clerihew:

Pavel Datsyuk
That Russian kook
Drinks milk straight from the carton
Endlessly listening to Dolly Parton

Double dactyls more your style? Try this one:

Higgeldy-Piggeldy
Valtteri Filppula
Enjoys a fine sauna
As a good Finn should

But once in a while,
Misunderstandingly,
He sweats to the oldies
As only Simmons would

If all else fails, I find that the trusty haiku always sends me right to sleep:

Darren McCarty:
Love affair with the bottle
Pathetic old goon

And what would a poetry recital be without a limerick?

Old Kirk Maltby’s a native of Guelph
And secretly loves to touch himself
He dreams of learning to score
And jacks it more and more
Fantasizing about the top shelf

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9 Comments

  1. Are there any scheduled spoken word performances of his work in the near future? Because that would be awesome.

    He has a gift and he should share it with the world.

  2. spoken word. And I second the live performances!

  3. I will bring the bongos and fair trade coffee!

  4. Will Jordin Tootoo and Jaarko Ruutu meet with Bishop Desmond Tutu to perform the voodoo that you do so well? Who do? You do!

  5. @ RD:
    Ow. My head hurts now.

  6. can we get a beat going behind these rhymes?

  7. […] Tootoo is the new Edgar Allan Poe (Melt Your Face Off) Spread Tsarist Dictum: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where […]

  8. @RD: Who do voodoo HE DO VOODOO who do voodoo HE DO VOODOO!
    who do voodoo, I DO VOODOO, who do voodoo I DO VOODOO!

    /darkwing duck

  9. [Finger snaps in approval]


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