Open Letter to Ron MacLean and Colin Campbell

Dear Canuckistani Terrorist Fuckbuckets,

I’m going to start with you, MacLean. I saw what you said about me, you mother fucker.

You think because you were a ref in some shitty minor leagues you have the right to say what I do is bad for the game? Fuck you, you tightass prick. Did it work? Did I score? Did we jump out to the lead? Yes, Yes, and Yes, assrammer.

And you, Campbell. You have the balls to make an entire new interpretation of a rule just because you don’t like the way I play? Because I found a loophole? Fuck you! You’re too busy angling for the GM job with the fucking Leafs to know how real men play! You’re too busy crawling up Blake and Tucker’s ass. You’re going to get leukemia if you keep bending over like that. You remember what I said last year, right? You get leukemia by getting fucked in the ass! Just because you got fired by The Beasts Known as the Rangers and want a job sucking Darcy Tucker’s cock, you think you have the right to tell me how to play?

So I decided to fuck with the sister-fucker’s head a little. The cocksucker had it coming to him. And look! He punched me in the face! I got punched in the face by this little fagnut! He’s antagonizing me, taint sucker! Not the other way around! I should have smashed my stick in his Jersey-dyke face. But you fuckers have to whine and cry! “He’s being a jerk!” “He’s disrespecting the game!” “I have sand in my vagina!” Well, back up the WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMBULANCE!!!!

So what if I turned my back to the play? So what if I did something unusual? It worked, cuntrags! And when I barreled into that duckjobbber at the end of regulation? No accident. I wanted to take his fucking head off.

Just wait till you see what I do tomorrow night. And when I’m playing against the Panthers next year? I’m taking out your kid, too, Campbell.

Cock Knocker.

Advertisements

5 Comments

  1. Sean Avery is scary yet enthralling at the same time. I don’t know what to think.

  2. I was very much looking forward to this post.
    The line between real Avery and MYFO Avery is sufficiently blurred.

  3. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised is RD just transcribed a locker room recording. Who doesn’t think that could be Avery verbatim?

  4. @Rocco: I don’t know if Avery knows big words like “Antagonizing” Other than that, Spot. ON.

  5. Sister fucker. That’s a new one.


Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s