Mike Milbury is Good with the Talking

Hi.  My name is Mike Milbury, and I’m currently a broadcast analyst for an array of stations carrying the NHL Playoffs.  I’d like to use this forum to apologize regarding some comments I may have made during Sunday’s telecast of the Philadelphia Flyers and Washington Capitals on NBC. 

I don’t think the Washington hockey team is the “Crapitals.”

It was a slip of the tongue, and in no way did I wish to infer that the Captials are a crappy hockey team.  I have contacted Ted Leonsis, and he understands that my comments were unintentional.  To make up my verbal infraction, I promised that should I ever be given another General Manager position, I will promptly trade two 1st-round draft picks in the upcoming draft in exchange for a tasty sandwich of his choosing.

Ted, if you’re reading this: I love me some Reuben.

Now that I have that piece of business out of the way, I’d like to offer an exclusive take on the series in question just for MYFO Nation. 

I have to say, I don’t see either of these teams getting past Montreal or Pittsburgh in the second round. 

Filthydelphia has to clean up their act.  The Scotts, NoHartnell and Upyourshall have been pests throughout, and have given hard-working hockey players a bad name.  They’re lucky Joffrey Loophole hasn’t been hit with any sucking minors in the first three games.  Speaking of bad names, what’s the Marty Beerbong in net?  God, that drunkard is so lucky Washeduppington can’t hit the broad side of a barn.  Let’s just home he doesn’t collide with R.J. Dumberger, who’s not the brightest bulb in the bushel.

As for the Captials (see, I got it right!), Alexander Owretchkin’s immaturity last night made me nauseous.  Hey – you want to earn your 38 year contract?  Then stop dumping the puck of to Dickfor Kozlov and take the damn shot!  Any sort of resurgence in this series will require some inspired play by the Craps defense.  But with the likes of Tommy Potti and Milan Hernia back there, things are looking bleak.  I know this because I just looked into my Crystal Ball Hoot.  Whatever that means.

Alexander Semin: that’s a name to set your watch to.

Again, my name is Mike Milbury, and I approve this analysis.


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