Not every team in the playoffs gets to hoist the Stanley Cup. Try as they may, 15 teams will end their hockey-related obligations without lifting the Holy Grail of Hockey. We here at MYFO encourage you to erase their substandard play from your collective memory, and join us in wishing them good luck on the golf course starting today.
Next up, Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price with the Ottawa Senators, who were swept out of the playoffs by The Penguins and Hockey–Jesus, that’s what passes for a golf course in Ottawa??
The Ottawa Senators
What Happened?: Hockey Jesus turned out the lights on our friends, the Senators, last night. Leonidas be damned, the Sens couldn’t pull off a win, even in their home arena. Hockey Jesus turned to them and said, “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth, but the Stanley Cup is mine. Ye, verily, go before me and ye shall find peace.” Don’t feel bad, guys. You ran into a buzzsaw.
Their Year on MYFO: Ray Emery spent an off-day playing baseball and hurt himself. The Ordinary Seaman found Sens luggage tags, but none for the Habs. The Sens are getting sent overseas to play the–oh…sorry. Jason Spezza doesn’t believe what just happened.
The Silver Lining: Once you cut 500 lbs. of excess weight and get rid of Emery, you should be back in top form. Your lost out on the Hossa sweepstakes to the team that won it. Bad karma all-around. Better luck next year, guys.